


Where the Heart Rests

by sonlover25



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-14 11:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3409652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonlover25/pseuds/sonlover25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Carmilla left, it destroyed Laura's life. Just when she thinks she's finally over her ex three years later, Carmilla returns. Will Laura ever be able to forgive Carmilla for what she's done? Or will Laura be forever heartbroken?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So I have this story posted on fanfiction.net but one of my readers mentioned that I should try posting it on here. This is my first Carmilla story so try not to be too hard on it. This will eventually be a Hollstein, so keep that in mind. If enough people enjoy this story then I will be posting more chapters.

** Chapter One **

_I felt a pair of warm, soft hands wrap around my waist, pulling me closer. Apparently I have been shaking from a nightmare because I was woken up by a beautiful voice calling my name._

_“Laura! Hey cupcake, you need to wake up. It was just a dream sweetie.” The voice said softly, soothingly._

_I cracked my eyes open and was met with the warmest set of chocolate eyes I have ever seen. They were filled with pure love, all staring right back at me. I felt that same warm inviting hand cradle my face, soothingly running the fingers through my hair. I could feel myself calming down, my heartbeat coming to a normal pace._

_“What were you dreaming about cupcake? You were crying.” The voice said again._

_I looked up at her and said with sleepiness still evident in my voice. “I dreamed that you left me. You just got up and disappeared from my life. I searched everywhere for you and everything that reminded me of you was gone as well.” I started crying again slowly, not meaning to._

_I felt myself being pulled towards her, strong arms wrapping around my body protectively. “Laura, I will_ never _leave you. That is a promise I will keep. I am always going to love you. I am always going to be in love with you. I’m forever yours Laura, no matter where I am or where life takes us. I will always be there to protect you.”_

 

I felt myself tearing up at the memory of her. I wish I could say that those words were true, but unfortunately they were far from the truth. I heard movement coming to my office, so I quickly wiped at my eyes to get rid of the tears. A quick knock came, and I told whoever it was to come in.

 

The door opened and LaFontaine greeted me with their usual smile. “Hey Laura I…woah, are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

 

I tried playing it off like I didn’t know what they were talking about, but we all know that I am a terrible liar. “Oh that? It’s just my allergies acting up more so today is all.”

 

LaFontaine gave me a look that lets me know that they know I’m lying. “Laura, we all know that you suck at lying. Why are you crying? Wait…is it about your ex again?” I didn’t say anything, so they took it as a sign of it being a yes. They quickly shut the door and pulled a seat up next to me. I soon felt a pair of arms go around me as they said, “Laura, you really need to let her go. She was a piece of shit and the way that she just abandoned you like that after being together for two years is an even shittier thing to do. You deserve so much better than her. I have an idea, why don’t we go out to the club tonight? We can even bring Perry and Kirsch along?”

 

I sighed and said, “I don’t know LaF. I’m not sure I’m ready to be looking for anything right now.”

 

“Oh come on L! It’s been three years since you two broke up! That’s plenty of time to get over someone. And I never said that you would be looking for a relationship, just someone to get some lady loving form.”

 

I scrunched my eyes at that, which made LaFontaine start to laugh at. “Fine, I’ll go.” They threw their hands in victory but I quickly cut them off. “BUT only if you promise to never say the words lady loving ever again.”

 

They smiled and pulled me in for another hug and said, “Okay you have yourself a deal. Perry and I will pick you up at yours around eight.”

 

I was now facing my closet, trying to decide on what to wear. I started digging through the closet when I cam across an old hoodie that I haven’t seen in three years. It had the words “Silas University” written in white, faded letters over the black material. I felt my eyes start to water again at the memory.

 

_I was shivering like no other. For some reason we decided that it was a good idea to take a walk in the park. And of course it wasn’t cold for her, because she hardly ever got cold. Me on the other hand, I practically freeze on a summer’s day sometimes._

_I heard laughter come from beside me and I soon felt a hoodie being placed in my arms. “Here cupcake, take my hoodie. If you keep shivering like that, you’re not going to have any teeth left.”_

_I looked at her and said, “But aren’t you going to get cold? I mean, all you’re wearing is a tank top with a flannel wrapped around your waist.”_

_She rolled her eyes and looked at me while saying, “You should know that I don’t get cold easily. And besides, I only brought the hoodie because I figured you would probably need it soon. Now, put the hoodie on before I do it for you creampuff.”_

_She winked at me, making me blush. I quickly put the hoodie on and thankfully it wasn’t too small or too big on me. She smiled at me and leaned down to kiss my cheek then say quietly in my ear, “I love seeing you wear my clothes. They look so sexy on you. How about you keep this hoodie?”_

_I blushed and we quickly started walking back to our dorm room._

I still kept that hoodie after all of these years. Now, you’re probably wondering why I would have kept it. The thing is, I just couldn’t let her go. I mean, we dated each other since my freshman year in college and I seriously thought we were going to end up together forever. Unfortunately, plans change and people change as well. I was absolutely heartbroken when she broke up with me. I’m pretty sure I didn’t eat for almost a month, which seriously scared my friends. LaF has been there for me since the very beginning, and I could never repay them for that. Along with them, there was Perry and Kirsch, who I have known since college as well. At first Kirsch seemed like he could have been your typical frat boy, but deep down he really cared about people and would do anything to help protect his friends. Perry was also kind of difficult to get to know. She comes off as very neat freak like, but she is an amazing friend and would back you up with anything, even if it’s a little weird for her or against her beliefs. All in all, all three of them were there for me during the breakup and I was so incredibly thankful for that.

 

I sighed and looked at the time to see that I only had twenty minutes to get ready. I decided on a pair of regular jeans and an easy flowing shirt that showed a little bit of cleavage. I ended up throwing the hoodie back in my closet and ran to go brush out my hair and retouch on my makeup. I was soon opening the front door to see LaF and Perry grinning at me.

 

“Well don’t you just look cute and ready to mingle.” Perry said while leaning in to give me a hug.

 

I smiled and hugged her back while LaFontaine said, “Yeah, and you look like you’re ready to receive some lady loving!”

 

Perry reached over to smack LaF, causing them to yelp in pain. I laughed and looked at them and said, “I thought you said you weren’t going to say those words again?”

 

They just grinned and said, “I had to say it at least one more time. Sorry L, I couldn’t help it. Also, Kirsch said he wouldn’t be able to make it to the club tonight but he said that you two will need to hang out very soon.”

 

After a little bit of a drive, we managed to get to the club and find a place in the back. I’ve had a few shots but other than that, I haven’t moved from my seat.

 

“Ugh come on L! You need to lighten up a little and go mingle! How are you going to find someone if you become a hermit?” LaF said, on their fifth or sixth shot.

 

“Now honey, if she doesn’t want to go out there and talk, then let her do what she wants.” Perry said, always scolding LaF.

 

I was about to say something when I heard someone say my name.

 

“Laura? Is that you?”

 

I looked behind me and saw the familiar tall figure that I used to have a crush on all those years. A big smile grew on my face as I said, “Danny! What in the hell are you doing here??”

 

She grinned and offered me a hug, which I gladly took. Afterwards, she slid into the booth next to me and said, “I decided to move back here. I’ve had some fun exploring everything but nothing beats home. I’m surprised to see you three even here.”

 

I smiled and said, “Yeah, LaF here thought it would be best that I go out and try to find new people to talk to.”

 

I spent the rest of the night talking to Danny, which made LaFontaine back off from pressuring me to go out there and talk to others. It was nearing the end of the night when Danny leaned over so I could hear her better.

 

“So um…I was wondering if you would maybe want to go get a burger or something? I feel like we have a lot to catch up on and the night is too young.”

 

I smiled and nodded my head yes while saying, “Yeah, I would like that actually. Let me go tell the others since they drove.”

 

After telling the others that I was going to go hang out with Danny, which LaF just gave me a big thumbs up and told me to “go get them,” her words not mine. I followed Danny out to her old beat up truck and we were soon walking into an old diner place, that was luckily a twenty-four seven one.

 

“So, what made you stay in the good state of New York? I would have thought you would have left this place by now.” Danny said with a giggle.

 

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I don’t know. Something told me to not leave this place. I guess it’s just because it’s home to me. And besides, I got a good job at the New York Times, so I really wasn’t in a hurry to leave.”

 

Danny’s face lit up at the sound of that. “Oh that’s so awesome L! I know you really wanted to go into journalism. How is it working there?”

 

“It’s really awesome actually. Everyone there is really nice and laid back. And they even allow me to write a small article in their paper. But most of the time I just edit things. I know, probably not as exciting as what you’ve been doing. Speaking of, how was the whole traveling thing?” I asked curiously, taking a bite out of the burger that I got a few minutes ago.

 

At the end of the college years, Danny decided to go travel around the world instead of settling down right away. She used to be my major crush and we were even close to dating…until _she_ came into the picture. After that, we just became incredible friends. We kept in touch with postcards and stuff sent every once in awhile. I’m actually really glad that she’s back.

 

“Oh traveling was so fun! I went and saw Italy, Rome, Greece, France, England, Paris, and a whole bunch of other countries. You would have loved it L! I have so many pictures I need to show you sometime.” Danny said while smiling at me.

 

I smiled and said, “Well I would love to see them sometime. So, are you planning on staying here? Or is this just a small stop along your big adventure?”

 

“I actually think that I’m done traveling for now. I would like to kind of settle in with someone. Traveling alone does get pretty lonely sometimes.”

 

I nodded my head and we ate in silence for a little bit. Then Danny decided to ask a question that I was really hoping to avoid.

 

“So um…where’s Carmilla? I’ve noticed you haven’t mentioned her any since we’ve ran into each other.” Danny said, kind of looking concerned.

 

I could feel my eyes watering a little, but thankfully I got them under control before I could cry. “Oh um…she uh…we broke up about three years ago…”

 

Her face instantly fell and I could tell she felt bad for asking. “Oh Laura, I’m so sorry. If I would have known, I wouldn’t have asked.”

 

I felt her place a hand on mine gently, completely shocking me for just a minute. I soon shook off my sadness and said, “No, it’s fine. You didn’t know so it’s not your fault. And it’s been three years so I need to be over it.”

 

“Yeah but you guys dated for like a long time it seems. May I ask why you guys broke up?”

 

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I’m not sure why we did. A little after our two years she just randomly called it quits and disappeared. I haven’t seen her since.”

 

I could see Danny getting pissed as she asked, “She didn’t even give you a reason? Not even try to connect with you any?”

 

I shook my head no and said, “Nope, not even a simple hello. She literally grabbed her things and left the state. She must have gotten a new number too because I tried calling and texting her and it said that it’s been disconnected. I even tried asking her mom, but we all know how much of a bitch she can be.”

 

“Laura, I am so sorry for what happened. You deserve better than that…so much better than that. I knew she wasn’t right for you. I had a feeling this whole time that she was going to just up and leave at some point.” Danny said, slowly lacing her fingers with mine.

 

I continued to look down and said softly, “No, I probably deserved it anyway. I mean, I did kind of get too clingy for a little bit there.”

 

I soon heard movement and felt someone sit right beside me. I looked up a little and saw that Danny moved so she could wrap me in her arms gently. “Laura, I want you to listen to me when I say this. You did _not_ deserve to be ditched like that. She was with you for two fucking years, no one deserves that. You are such a sweet, kind, and loving woman and anyone would be insanely lucky to be able to call you theirs. Apparently Carmilla couldn’t see that and that is entirely her loss. I don’t want to ever hear you say that you deserved that, because that is a total and complete lie. You don’t need to depend on someone who isn’t willing to stand by you even under tough times. You deserve someone who will love you no matter what and will stick by your side.”

 

I started tearing up without meaning to and I was soon burying my head into Danny’s chest, who quickly pulled me closer and started to rub soothingly on my back. After a few minutes, I pulled away and wiped at my eyes and said, “I’m sorry for crying like that. I’ve just been a mess since the whole break up and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get over her. Every time I close my eyes, I see her smiling back at me, staring back at me. I have constant dreams about her and just the smallest things makes all these memories come flooding back to me.”

 

“Well, that’s why you have me. I’ll help distract you from these memories. I mean, someone has to come save the day right? And we all know that I make it a past time of mine to keep you safe.” Danny said with a smile.

 

“Oh you don’t have to do that. It would be way too much of a burden, and I’m sure you have better things to do than hang around me all the time.” I said, looking at her.

 

“Laura, relax okay? I just moved to town and I have absolutely nothing to do. And besides, even if I did I would still choose you any day. If you ever need someone to talk to when you’re feeling down and out, just give me a call and I’ll be over in an instant. Or, if you just need someone to talk to in general, just call me and I can be that person. I really mean it when I said you deserve better than her Laura. And if I’m the person that is just there to help you get over her, then so be it. In fact, I would love to be that person.”

 

And Danny did seem to be that person. After that night, Danny and I have gotten so incredibly close. I feel like we see each other every night and even the others welcomed her back with open arms. Her and Kirsch actually managed to keep the bickering down to a minimum, which surprised all of us considering their past. Every time I needed someone to talk to late at night, Danny was there. She’s probably the second person that has known me better than myself. The first would have been Carmilla, but even she wouldn’t know me now.

 

It’s been a few months since Danny had come back into my life, and I can honestly say that my life has gotten so much better. I had just gotten up from a restful night of sleep, which is the first in a very long time. I got the mail and was looking through bill after bill until something odd popped out. Pulling out the envelope, my heart dropped instantly. I would recognize that handwriting anywhere. Written in insanely neat script was **Ms. Laura Hollis** on the very top. How the hell did she even get my address?? Not thinking anything else of it, my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to open the letter.

 

_Laura,_

_Words cannot express how much of a terrible person I am for leaving you. That day has replayed in my mind every second of ever day since it first happened. And I have deeply regretted it since. I know that you hate me and don’t want anything to do with me, and I understand completely. I would hate me too if I were you. All I ask is for you to hear me out. I had to disappear from your life because I’m not good for you. All I do is cause pain and heartbreak around the people that I love. I know it’s been three years since we’ve last spoken and I know I am writing this too late. But, is there any chance that we could meet up so I can tell you my reasons face to face? Please Laura. I still love you and I will always be in love with you. I know I ruined my chances but I would give anything just to see you face to face at least one last time. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Forever yours,_

_Carmilla Karnstein_

 

I instantly crumbled up the piece of paper and threw it in the trash. How dare she do that? I just got over her, or thought I did at least, and she went ahead and did that?? Fuck her. Fuck everything about her existence. Carmilla was right about one thing, I do hate her and I will _never_ be able to forgive her for what she’s done in my life.

 

…and we all know that is a lie…


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I got quite a bit of interests with this story. Which by the way, thank you guys. That really means a lot to me seeing others liking my story. So, to reward you guys, I'm posting the second chapter on the same day for you. Keep in mind, this WILL be a Hollstein in the end. We just gotta get there first. Anyway, if I get enough interests, I'll post the next chapter probably sometime tomorrow. Enjoy!

** Chapter Two **

“So, what did the letter say again?” Danny asked as she walked over by me.

 

As soon as I read the letter, I had texted Danny asking her to come over, saying it was urgent. Thankfully, she didn’t ask what it was about because I don’t think I could actually explain it to her over the phone.

 

I lifted the letter up for her to read, which she took instantly and read it to herself. Afterwards, she dropped it and pulled me into her arms, which I welcomed instantly.

 

“Oh Laura, I know this is so hard for you. And I hate it so much that nothing I do will help. Because all I want is to be able to take away the pain.” Danny said as she pulled me closer to her.

 

I sniffed and said quietly, “I just don’t understand how she could have done that. She mentioned in the letter that she is still in love with me and always will be, but if she did then why did she leave? Why did she abandon me?”

 

“Carmilla left because she is a coward. She’s a coward who is afraid of commitment. So, instead of being with this amazing girl, she decides to throw all of that away because things were getting too serious for her.”

 

A few minutes passed with none of us saying anything. I sighed, looking at the letter.

 

_Please Laura. I still love you and I will always be in love with you. I know I ruined my chances but I would give anything just to see you face to face at least one last time._

“I don’t know what I should do…” I mumbled quietly, still looking at the letter.

 

“Well, what does your heart say L? Only you can decide, no matter how much I want to decide for you.” Danny said softly, rubbing my back lightly.

 

“Part of me wants to see her. That part is just dying to see her again, craves seeing her. Then the other part of me wants to just say ‘fuck you’ to her and never speak or hear from her again. I just…I don’t know what to do.” I mumbled again.

 

I felt the letter being taken from my hands. I looked up and watched as Danny pulled away from me, letter in hand, and walked to the kitchen. Curious, I got up to follow her into the room.

 

“What are you doing Danny?” I asked curiously.

 

She looked up at me and said, “I’m helping you choose. We are going to keep this letter right here from now on. If you get any more from her, then you will know she is genuine and that is when I say give her a chance to explain. If you don’t receive any more, then you know she isn’t worth your time to keep trying.”

 

A few more weeks had passed and in that amount of time I have received a letter from Carmilla every Wednesday in the mail. Every letter would have her begging for me to just give her a chance to explain. At the end of each and every letter, the words “I still love you and I will always be in love you” were written. A part of me almost wanted to give her the chance, but the other part would overrule it.

 

It was starting to get a little warmer now, but not by much. There was still some snow left on the ground, but it would be in small patches. LaFontaine and I had decided to go to a Starbucks that was near our work. Yes, LaF works with me thankfully. They were actually the ones who managed to get me a job there, which I will be forever thankful to them.

 

“So, have you gotten any more letters from uh…from Carmilla?” LaF said as they took a sip of their coffee.

 

I actually hate coffee so I just got a hot cocoa. Taking a sip of my drink, I said, “Actually yeah. I got about four more of them.”

 

“Holy shit girl! She must really be serious about having you talk to her. What do you feel about all of this? And I want the honest answer, not some made up bullshit that you tell Danny to keep her happy.” LaF said.

 

“Hey, first off, I don’t lie to Danny to keep her happy.”

 

LaFontaine raised an eyebrow and said, “Oh really? Then why is it when she asks something is wrong, you always make something up? I know you hide things from her Hollis.”

 

I sighed and said, “I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want Danny worrying about me. You know how she gets.”

 

“Isn’t that the truth. It’s so painfully obvious how much of a crush she has on you L.”

 

I scrunched my eyes in confusion and said, “What do you mean? Danny doesn’t like me still.”

 

“Um okay, then you are seriously blind then because Lawrence _so_ has a thing for you. Hell, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that she never stopped having a thing for you.” LaFontaine said as they took another sip from their coffee.

 

I took a sip from my hot cocoa and said, “Oh well…I guess I am blind then because I thought she was over the whole thing that happened in college.”

 

LaFontaine laughed and shook their head before saying, “Oh L, I love how you never catch on to these things. But I am guessing from your reaction, you are over your little crush on…what was it again…oh yeah…your little crush on the Jolly Green Giant.”

 

I laughed a lot at that. There was one good thing that Carmilla was good at, and that was creating unique nicknames to piss Danny off. “That one was definitely one of my favorites. But no, I don’t like Danny like that anymore. I mean, yeah she’s gorgeous as hell and an amazing friend, but I don’t think I could date her like I wanted to all of those years ago.”

 

“You know…you could always use her for a fuck buddy?” LaF said casually.

 

I threw a napkin at them and said, “LaF! She is my friend! I will not use her like that!”

 

“Okay, okay, I was just suggesting ideas.”

 

“Well, no suggesting ideas anymore.” I said as I took another sip of my drink.

 

They put their hands up in surrender and said, “Okay, deal. But really Hollis, how are you feeling about the whole letter thing?”

 

I sighed and fiddled with the lid of my cup for a minute. I then looked up and said, “I don’t know. I mean, this is Carmilla that we are talking about. The Carmilla who had such a big part of my college life. I mean, a part of me is always going to love her and care about her. But she destroyed me LaF…absolutely destroyed me when she left. And…I don’t know if I could ever forgive her for that.”

 

“And I don’t blame you L. No one deserves to be discarded like that the way she did with you. But, if you got the chance, would you talk to her again? Or maybe let her explain?” LaF asked.

 

I looked at them for a minute and then realized something was up. Squinting my eyes, I looked at LaF and said, “What did you do LaFontaine?”

 

They tried to look innocent, but clearly failed. “I don’t know what you mean Hollis.”

 

Just then, I heard the door of the store go off, and I just knew something was about to happen. “Don’t play games with me LaF. I know you did something because you have that guilty look to you. Now, spill it before I have Perry make you.”

 

They gulped and said, “Now, I don’t want you to get mad at me okay Laura? Just keep in mind that I did this because I thought it would bring you closure or something. But now that I thought about it, I realized that I probably should have asked you about it first. But um…ImayhavewroteCarmillabackandtoldhertomeetyouheretodayatthisshop.”

 

“Woah, woah, wait. Can you say that again? But slower so I can understand??” I asked, a little annoyed.

 

They gulped again and said slower, “I may have wrote Carmilla back from one of your letters and told her to meet you here today at this shop. Please don’t be mad at me.”

 

I didn’t have time to retaliate because I was soon greeted by the one voice that I thought I would never hear from again.

 

“Laura? Is…is that you?”

 

I froze in my seat and refused to turn around. LaF was giving me apologetic eyes while I was glaring daggers at them. I took a deep breath and slowly turned around in my seat and was face to face with those same brown eyes that I fell in love with years ago. She’s changed a little bit since I’ve seen her last. Her hair is just a little bit shorter, and instead of the curls that she normally had it was straight. She still wore the black leather pants and combat boots. Her shirt showed off her stomach, which I could see a faint set of abs going across it. Matching the shirt was the same leather jacket that she would always wear all of those years ago.

 

When her eyes met mine, I could see pain, regret, and nothing but love swarming inside of them. She smiled at me and I could have sworn I felt my heart flutter. _No Laura, she does not have the right to make your heart flutter. You have to be strong. You can’t let her take over your life again. No, not this time. This time I will be the strong one._

 

I glared at her and said in pure anger, “What are you doing here Carmilla?”

 

Carmilla was about to respond when LaF interrupted saying, “Now Laura, be nice. Carmilla just wants the chance to talk to you face to face. I think you owe her that much. Wouldn’t you like to hear an explanation?”

 

I turned my glare back to them, who quickly looked down guilty. “I could give two shits what her explanation is LaFontaine. _She_ is the one who left _me._ _She_ decided that after a two year relationship could just up and walk out of my life without giving me a damn explanation. And I definitely do _not_ owe her anything.”

 

I almost couldn’t recognize my voice as it sounded nothing but cold towards my friend. I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder, and I realized it was Carmilla who did it. I quickly moved from her grasp and stood up, facing her.

 

“Cupcake I…”

 

I quickly raised a hand and slapped her on the cheek, hard. A gasp came out of LaF’s mouth and Carmilla just closed her eyes for a split second, and then looked right back at me. I glared at her and said angrily, “NO! You don’t get to do that anymore Carmilla! I don’t think you understand the damage you did to me. I was _in love_ with you Carmilla Karnstein! I wanted to fucking _marry_ you someday! When you left…that absolutely _destroyed_ me to the point where I thought about nothing but death for the past three years. I wanted to die, but then I thought that was just letting you win. So I finally found the courage to get over you completely and when I finally am, you fucking waltz back here like you’ve never left! Well you know what? This is _my_ life and I refuse to let you back in! You had your chance to explain to me why you left. But all I got was voicemails and texts saying that your number has been disconnected. So do you want to know what I think? Fuck you Carmilla, and I _never_ want to see you again. And if I do, don’t think I won’t hesitate to put a restraining order on your pathetic ass.”

 

With that, I grabbed my things and walked past her towards the door. I didn’t look back at either of them as I left. Once I was a safe place away from the building, I pulled my phone out to text the one person that could give me comfort right now.

 

**“Can I come see you?”**

 

It was almost an instant reply and I was already in my car heading her way before I even read the text. **“Of course. What’s wrong?”**

 

I pulled into Danny’s driveway and as I was waiting to get the energy to walk up to her door, LaF’s words repeated in my head. _“You know…you could always use her for a fuck buddy.”_ I quickly shook my head to get it out of my thoughts and finally got the energy to get out of my car. I knocked once and the door was quickly opened, revealing Danny in a pair of sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and her hair put up in a bun. Something came over me because next thing I know, I’m throwing myself onto her and pushing my lips up against hers.

 

Danny’s reaction was instant, and I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and pull me close, the kiss deepening. I pushed her inside the house, shutting the door with my foot as I kissed her deeply.

 

“You know, as much as I love kissing you, can I ask what brought this on?” Danny asked in between kisses.

 

I shook my head and said quietly against her lips, “Shh, just shut up and kiss me Lawrence.”

 

She listened and I was soon pulled into her bedroom. Before I knew it, both of our shirts were off and everything seemed to get real to me. I pulled away from Danny for a split second, and when I looked at her face, all I could see was Carmilla’s staring right back at me. _No, this is impossible._ I blinked and rubbed my eyes for a second and looked back at Danny and was relieved to see her looking back at me, confused. _No…I can’t do this to her. She’s one of my friends and that’s all she will ever be to me._

 

“Laura, what’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?” Danny asked, rubbing her hands up and down my sides lightly.

 

I shook my head and quickly got up from her bed and searched for my shirt. “I’m sorry Danny…I…I can’t do this…I have to go.”

 

Pulling my shirt over my head, I ran out the door and was soon driving away from her house. My phone immediately went off, Danny’s name shining bright. Getting tired of her calling over and over, I shut the phone off completely and threw it in the passenger seat. I found myself pulling into a local bar near my house. Sighing, I got out and walked inside, glad to see that it wasn’t busy for once.

 

I was on my fifth or sixth shot when I see someone sit next to me. I turned to the guy and slurred out, “Hey look buddy, if I were you, I wouldn’t sit next to me. Unless you want to hear a poor girl bitching about life.”

 

The guy turned to me and smiled, which I recognized instantly. “You should know good enough as anyone that I don’t mind helping you out with your problems Laura.”

 

I scrunched my eyes in confusion and tried to focus on the guy. I felt a sigh of relief when I realized who it was. “Oh it’s just you Kirsch. Not that I’m glad to see you, but what exactly are you doing here?”

 

“Well, believe it or not, but your friends are worried about you, including me.” Kirsch said as he studied me.

 

I asked the bar tender for another shot as I finished my other one. “Oh yeah? And why are you guys worried about the little lesbian Laura? All I’m doing is trying to have fun here. What? Is it a sin to enjoy a drink now or something??”

 

Kirsch quickly took the shot away from me and drank it, making me yell in protest. “No offense L, but I don’t think you need anymore of these. Now, are you going to tell me what’s going on? Or am I going to have to get it out of you the hard way? Because we all know that I will get it out of you one way or another.”

 

I glared at him and mumbled, “There’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t know why you think that there is.”

 

He seemed to have heard me and said, “Oh yeah? Then why is it that you’re sitting here at the bar at ten at night trying to drink yourself to death? Normally by now you are at home eating cookies and drinking grape soda while catching up on your latest Doctor Who show.” He now held a proud grin as he looked at me.

 

All I could do was flip him off and tried (and failed) to get up from the barstool. I felt a pair of muscular arms catch me. “How about I take you home L? You are in no way able to drive and I walked here anyway.”

 

I was too drunk to be able to protest, so I let him carry me out of the bar and to my car. It only took him a few minutes to get to my house, but a lot longer for him to carry me into the house.

 

“Geez Laura, you’re a lot harder to carry than you look, did you know that? You would think a person of your small size would be a breeze to pick up, but you’re insanely heavy.” Kirsch said as he carried me bridal style into the house.

 

I cracked up and slurred out, “Are you calling me fat Brody? Because if so, it’s extremely rude to call a lady fat.”

 

He blushed and said, “You know damn well that I’m not calling you anything. Now come on, we will talk in the morning. But for now, let’s get you to bed.”

 

I pouted and said, “But I don’t want to. Can’t I just stay up with the big people?”

 

Kirsch laughed and carried me upstairs. I was soon lying down on the bed, with him lying down next to me. “Nope, I’m afraid not L. You need to get to sleep now okay? I’ll be here in the morning and we can talk then.”

 

I yawned and nodded my head and mumbled out an “Okay.” Before I knew it, I was passed out for the night.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously you guys, I am absolutely amazed by how much everyone likes this story. It really means a lot to me. As promised, here's another chapter for you! I may or may not post the fourth one tonight. If I don't, then it will be up sometime tomorrow. Enjoy! =)

** Chapter Three **

I woke up with a pounding headache. I cracked my eyes open and winced even more as the blinding light shined through the window. _Ugh what even happened last night?_ I stretched and slowly sat up on my bed, only to smell food cooking downstairs. _What in the…I’m pretty sure Danny or LaF isn’t over…so who is?_ I got up from the bed with a groan and realized that I somehow changed into a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Walking down the stairs, I could hear someone moving around in the kitchen.

 

I turned the corner, getting ready to hit the intruder, when I was met with a tall, muscular figure who was humming and dancing along while cooking breakfast. I soon realized it was Kirsch and not an intruder. He turned around and saw that I was standing there and instantly stopped doing what he was doing.

 

“Laura! Hi! How long have you been awake?” Kirsch asked as he started to casually continue to cook breakfast.

 

I raised an eyebrow at him and said, “Long enough to see you dancing and singing down here like an idiot.”

 

He instantly blushed and tried to stumble out a sentence. I laughed and said, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” He let out a breath of air and looked relieved. “But not that I don’t love that you’re hear and fixing breakfast but uh…can I ask why you are here?”

 

He looked at me and said, “You don’t remember? I found you at that bar close to your house last night ridiculously drunk and took you home.”

 

I scrunched my brows in confusion, not remembering much of last night. “You did?”

 

He nodded his head and turned the stove off, fixing both of us plates full of pancakes, eggs, and toast. “Yeah, when I arrived there you seemed pretty far gone so no wonder you don’t remember. You did seem pretty upset about something though, do you remember what it was?”

 

I stood there in thought, trying to remember. It suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks: LaF and I having lunch, Carmilla randomly showing up there begging me to talk to her, me telling her to basically fuck off and out of my life then leaving, me kissing Danny, Danny and I almost having sex but me leaving. Oh shit I fucked up a lot last night.

 

I felt a pair of hands rest on my shoulders. I looked up and saw Kirsch looking down at me sympathetically. “I know that whatever it is that is upsetting you is pretty serious. You know I’m always here for you if you want to talk about it L. I don’t want you to shut me out like you do everyone else.”

 

I nodded my head and went over to the table to eat my breakfast. All throughout breakfast it was silent, but not the uncomfortable kind. I randomly looked up at Kirsch and said, “I did something that I probably shouldn’t have done last night. And now I don’t know what to do.”

 

Kirsch looked up at me and stared at me silently. It wasn’t the awkward staring, it was more like the he’s waiting for me to continue on my own pace kind. That’s the thing that I love about Kirsch. He is always there for you if you need someone to talk to and he won’t rush you in telling him about whatever it is. He’s probably the one person in my life that doesn’t expect anything from me, he just helps make the person see what they really want in their heart without persuading.

 

I sighed and started out from the beginning. “A few weeks ago, LaF, Perry, and I were at the club, the night that you were supposed to join us but you had other things to do. Anyway, near the end of the night Danny ran into us and me and her spent the rest of the night catching up. We ended up going to some diner here in town and before we knew it, it was like we never stopped being friends. Well, months later we have been closer than ever and she actually helped me get over…um…get over Carmilla. And I thought I was fully over her, but that was before the first letter came.”

 

“Was the letter from Carmilla?” Kirsch asked curiously.

 

I nodded my head yes and I felt a hand being placed over mine, squeezing mine lightly. I smiled sadly at him and continued my story, knowing he’s there to support me no matter what. “The letter basically stated her begging me for forgiveness and asking to see me in person so she can explain why she left. And she also stated that she will always be in love with me and will always love me. I didn’t think much of this until the letters kept coming. Every week for almost a month I would get one letter from her, saying the same thing. Danny told me that I should just ignore the letters and move on with my life. Well yesterday, LaF and I had lunch together and I explained to them about the letters and how Danny felt about it. We then got on the topic of Danny and how I felt about her. And you know how that goes.”

 

He nodded his head yes and said, “Yeah, that you only see Danny as a friend and nothing else. And let me guess, Danny still has that over protectiveness of you and has those same strong feelings about you, am I right?”

 

I laughed a little and said, “More like intense feelings for me. Anyway, LaF then mentioned that I should just be friends with benefits with Danny or something, but I blew it off. Now here comes the fun part. Somehow in LaFontaine’s fucked up mind, they thought that inviting Carmilla here without my knowledge was a fantastic idea. Because next thing I know, I’m face to face with my ex who I haven’t seen in three years!”

 

“Woah! No way! Why would they do that?? Don’t they know how much Carmilla has fucked you up? What did you do?” Kirsch asked.

 

“Well…I ended up slapping Carmilla and told her to fuck off and if I ever saw her again I would put a restraining order on her.” I said as I sighed a little.

 

“Woah, really? But you don’t mean that do you?”

 

“Of course I don’t really mean it! She’s my ex! And of course I love her and I always will. She just…ugh! She infuriates me to no end and when I see her, I don’t know if I want to punch her or kiss her!”

 

Kirsch grinned and said, “You could always do both? I mean, she does seem to be into that kinky shit.”

 

I smacked him on the arm, which made him wince and say ouch. “That’s so not funny Brody!”

 

He frowned and said, “I don’t like when you call me by my first name. It makes me feel weird.” I just rolled my eyes at him and ignored what he said. “But what else happened? Because it seemed like so far from what you’ve told me, it wasn’t really that bad.”

 

I sighed and said, “Well, afterwards, I left the diner and went over to Danny’s. Everything that LaF and I just talked about went running through my head and next thing I knew I was kissing her. And things got super intense and we almost had sex. But, I freaked out and ended up running out of the house instead. And then I went to the bar and that is where you found me.”

 

“Well…have you talked to Danny since the almost incident? She deserves an explanation you know.” Kirsch said as he continued to rub my hand supportively.

 

I sighed and shook my head no. “No, I’ve been ignoring all of her texts and calls. I don’t know what to say to her.”

 

“Just out of curiosity…what made you stop the whole thing with her? Because anyone with eyes can see that she’s a very attractive woman.”

 

“Honestly? It’s because every time I looked at Danny, all I could see was Carmilla. Like, I was kissing her and enjoying every minute, and then I pulled away just barely and glanced up at Danny’s face, and I saw Carmilla’s brown eyes staring right back at me. I saw her long dark hair flowing over her shoulders and I even felt her hands grazing my skin. I couldn’t take it so I left.” I said with my eyes tearing up.

 

I watched as Kirsch stood and walked around so he could kneel in front of me. I looked him right in the eye as he spoke. “Laura, there is nothing wrong with missing an ex. I don’t give a damn what LaF, Perry, Danny, or anyone else says about that. I hate that they are treating it like you should automatically be over her. I mean, you guys were together for over two years. She was a major part of your life. It’s okay if you’re never even over her. Now, I’m going to tell you what I think and I know you’re not going to like it at all, but deal with it because it’s my opinion. I think you need to give Carmilla a chance to explain to you why she left. Just give her a chance to talk, to have a little closure if you will. Because if you don’t, and something happens to her or to you, there’s always going to be that what if. And that what if is going to drive you absolutely insane Laura and you know it.”

 

I sighed and just looked down at the guy I call my best friend. I realized how right he was, but I just didn’t want to listen to him.

 

But he was right. Since that day he gave me advice, I have been thinking about it over and over again. The what if is driving me insane. I so desperately want to see Carmilla or just get some closure over this whole thing. I sighed and pulled my phone out and read all of my missed messages. There were five from LaF, two from Danny, and one from Perry.

 

I read the two from Danny first. **“Laura, I’m not sure what happened the other night, but we really need to talk. Text me okay?” “Look, I’m sorry if I put any pressure on you or for whatever I did. Just…please talk to me. We really need to figure out what happened the other night.”**

 

I sighed and deleted them. I went to LaF’s texts next. **“I am so sorry about what happened at the diner Laura. It was a shitty move of me to do and I should have asked you first.” “Please tell me our friendship isn’t over. I am so incredibly sorry, and if you’d like, I’ll even buy you a bunch of cookies to make up for it. Just talk to me.” “Laura…it’s been three days since that day and no one but Kirsch has heard from you. We’re starting to get worried. Please talk to me?” “Okay, I get it. You’re pissed and you have every right to be. But can you please at least text me or call me to let you know that you’re fine? I haven’t seen you at the office for awhile, it’s like you’ve been avoiding me or something.” “Okay fine. If you want to be stubborn, then I’ll let you be stubborn. But don’t blame me once Perry comes dragging you out of the house, because I’ve tried warning you.”**

 

The last one I read was Perry’s and I was honestly scared for my life. **“Laura Hollis! I swear if you don’t talk to either LaF or I within twenty four hours of sending this text, I WILL go to your house and drag your ass out of bed! LaF has been at my house in tears because they feel like they’ve betrayed you. Now I demand you to text them right now! I’m warning you Hollis!”**

 

I sighed and decided to just call LaF. On the second ring, they picked up.

 

_“Oh my god Laura! I’m so glad you finally called. I have seriously been so worried about you. Hell, we all have been. Kirsch wouldn’t tell us anything, which is totally weird for him. But I am so, so sorry for the other day at the diner. I feel like a jerk for what I’ve done. I should have talked to you about it first.”_

 

I quickly stopped them from the rant they were having by saying, “LaF, it’s okay really. I understand why you did it. You were coming from a good spot of mind and thought you were helping. I’m not mad at you and I’m sorry for how I reacted towards you at the diner. It’s just being around her again brings out all of these emotions from me and I didn’t know how to handle them appropriately.”

 

_“I’m still sorry that I brought her there. If it makes you feel any better, her ego looked busted after you slapped her. Which by the way that was definitely hardcore. I didn’t know you had it in you to do that.”_

 

I laughed and said, “Well it definitely felt good to slap her after all these years. Even though I did do it a little too hard.”

 

_“So um…Danny mentioned to Per and I about what happened after you left the diner. Do you want to talk about it?”_

I sighed and hesitated for a minute, and then decided to just tell them. “There’s nothing much to say. I went to her house, something in me snapped and I kissed her. When we were about to have sex, I looked at her and saw…I saw my ex okay? I don’t know what that meant but I panicked. I panicked and I left the house.”

 

_“And let me guess, you’ve been avoiding her since?”_ There was a beat of silence on the phone and I heard them sigh. _“Laura, you should know that you can’t run from your problems. You need to talk to Danny about what happened that day. She’s been worried sick about you since you’ve completely gone MIA on her. She’s blaming herself for it actually.”_

 

“I know I need to, but it’s going to be so awkward between us LaF! I mean, I didn’t even mean to kiss her! I just panicked and needed to feel something, anything. Seeing Carmilla that day brought out all of these emotions in me that I didn’t even know I still had.”

 

_“I know L, but Danny really likes you. And if you don’t like her like that, then you need to tell her. It’s not right to drag someone along like that, and you know it.”_

 

I sighed again and started pacing across the room. “I think…I think I’m ready to speak with Carmilla. I mean…I need some type of closure right? So I should just let her explain her thing and then call it quits.”

 

_“Woah, really? Are you sure Lauren? I don’t want to be the one who pressured you into something you’re not ready for.”_

 

“LaF, I’m sure I’m ready. Do you think you could set it up for me though? Since you have her number and all that for some weird reason.”

 

_“Of course I will L. I’ll text you the details later. I’m going to get off of here though. You need to seriously talk to Danny.”_

I sighed and told them I would and hung up the phone. I looked at all the texts from Danny and sighed again and texted her back. **“Hey…can we meet up and talk somewhere?”**

 

The response was almost instant. **“Laura! Yes, we can! How about the same diner we went to that night I came back? Meet you in an hour?”**

 

**“Sounds good to me.”**

 

I went to my room to change out of my sweatpants and old shirt and changed into a tighter pair of black skinny jeans, a white flowing shirt, and a pair of leather boots. I made it to the diner a little bit early and I decided to just order a grape soda while I waited for Danny to show up. I heard the door ding and I looked up to see Danny walking in and looking around for me. I waved her over and watched as she walked over to the table and sat down.

 

Taking her scarf off, she looked up at me with a smile. “Hey, I’m so glad you finally decided to talk to me.”

 

I put on a fake smile, but thankfully she didn’t catch up on it. “Yeah, I’m sorry for completely disappearing on you. I just…” I sighed quietly and tried to find the words to explain what I feel. “I just didn’t want things to be awkward between us with what happened.”

 

“Hey, no don’t worry about it. The last thing I want is for things to be awkward between us. I was just confused about what happened. Did…did you mean it? Or was I just an experiment?” Danny asked, looking me directly in the eyes.

 

I sighed and decided to just be honest. “Honestly? I did have feelings for you, back in college. But then…but then Carmilla came along and I fell for her hard. And when she left, it fucked me up badly. And then several years later, you came back and you helped me a lot with getting over her. And I owe you big time for that. Well…that day before I came to your house…Carm came back and I was feeling all of these range of emotions that I couldn’t handle them all. And then when I went over to your house, it all hit me at once and the only thing that I could think about was kissing you.”

 

“Then why did you pull away? If it was the whole moving too fast, then that is completely fine. We don’t have to move fast if you aren’t comfortable with that Laura.” Danny said.

 

“Look…Danny…you’re an amazing woman and anyone would be lucky to date you…I’m just not ready to take that step with anyone right now. And I’m not sure if I ever will be.” I said as I looked at my friend.

 

I could see the hurt come into her eyes as she realized what I was trying to say. “Oh. Well…I suppose I’m okay with being just friends. Just as long as I’m in your life in some way.” She then genuinely smiled at me and stood up to give me a hug.

 

I smiled as well and allowed her to engulf me in her arms. “Thank you for understanding Danny. You’re one of my best friends and I really don’t want to make things awkward between us.”

 

Things between Danny and I thankfully weren’t awkward anymore. I was so relieved when Danny said that she is more than happy to be just friends. I was honestly worried that she was going to just disappear from my life again, and I don’t think I could handle losing her as a friend for a second time. My phone started vibrating, telling me that I had a text. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that it was from LaFontaine.

 

**“Carmilla said she would meet you tomorrow at the same place we were at the other day at three. Please try to play nice okay?”**


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to be nice and go ahead and post the fourth chapter for you. I am still absolutely amazed by the response I'm getting from you guys. Seriously, thank you so much for your support. It really means a lot to me. This chapter is going to be told from Carmilla's point of view, just because I think it's time you guys see what's going on in the broody vampire's (but not vampire?) head. This one is a little longer than the others, but just mainly because Carmilla has a lot to say in this one. I haven't written the next chapter yet but I promise I won't let it be that long of a wait. A day at most (depends if I'm around internet though). And also, I won't be switching point of view's very often, just because I personally think it can be distracting if it's done frequently. Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for the support. I hope you enjoy. =)

** Chapter Four **

I’ve regretted that day since the second it happened. The last thing I ever wanted to do was leave her…but I _had_ to. I had no choice in the decision. No…that choice was all my mother’s. She’s controlled me since the day that I was born and if any of her children disobeyed, she would make our life a living hell. I remember the day that I left so clearly, like it just happened.

 

_We’ve just gotten back to Laura’s apartment after a night out with the gang. LaFontaine decided that we all needed to go bowling, something that I have been terrible with from day one. I only went just to keep Laura happy, and the night was overall a fun one. When we got to her apartment we were pretty tired so we went straight to her room. I now held my entire world in my arms, Laura looking up at me lovingly. Little did she know that this was the last time she was ever going to see me._

_“I’m sorry you had to go bowling, I know how you don’t like it.” Laura said, cuddling into me more._

_I wrapped my arms around her waist and looked down at her beautiful face. “I actually had fun cupcake. And besides, I got to spend the night with you so it was worth it. And I manage to see you completely drop the ball into the other lane.”_

_Laura’s face instantly blushed as she said, “That was one time! And it was a total accident! I got distracted by you and you know it.”_

_I feigned innocent and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about. Now, we need to head to bed. I’m sure your absolutely exhausted.”_

_Almost on cue, Laura let out a big yawn. I just smiled and leaned down to kiss her softly. After pulling away, I looked in her eyes and sighed softly. I grabbed her gently and pulled her into another kiss, but this one being deeper and slower. She kissed me back with just as much passion and then pulled away a little._

_“Not that I didn’t mind that kiss or love it, because I really did, but what was that about Carm?” Laura asked curiously._

_I shook my head and said, “It was nothing cupcake. I just wanted to show how much I love you. And how much I’m always going to love you.”_

_Laura smiled at that and said, “Aw Carm, I love when you’re sweet like that. I love you as well.”_

_She soon fell asleep with her head against my chest. I waited a few hours so I knew she was sound asleep. Sighing, I figured I might as well do it now before I back out._ No, you can’t back out Karnstein. Think of Laura…you’re doing this for her. For her safety. You can’t let your mother destroy her life too. _I slowly crawled out of bed, making sure Laura’s head was on her favorite yellow pillow. I took the liberty of making sure all of my belongings were already packed in the car beforehand, making the process easier. Taking out a piece of paper and a pen, I wrote Laura a note briefly explaining what happened. I took one last look at my one true love and kissed the top of her head softly._

_Leaning down towards her ear, I whispered as quietly as I could, “Please don’t forget about me. And remember, I will_ always _be in love with you. Stay safe Laura Hollis.”_

_I pulled myself away from her and walked out of the room. Walked out of Laura’s life forever._

 

I wiped tears from my face after pulling myself out of that memory. I could only imagine her face when she woke up the next morning, expecting to see her loving girlfriend next to her. It destroyed my heart just thinking about all the pain and heartache I forced on her. I didn’t have a choice to leave her, because if I did I would have never left. It was either leave or let Mother destroy her. And that’s already happened once to a girl I loved and from that day on, I made a promise to myself to never let that happen again no matter how much it would kill me to do so.

 

After that night, I decided to move all the way across the country, start a new life. A life without Laura was absolutely miserable. No matter what I did, I just could not get happy or settle down. I never bothered to try dating either, all of them just being one-night stands. I also noticed that every girl I slept with resembled Laura as well, which made it worse. Alcohol became my best friend, it made me forget all of my pain and problems in life. My mother became thoroughly disappointed with me, even more so than she was to start with. My brother Will would just says that I needed to find a man who would love me and all my baggage.

 

That’s the one thing that I have always hated about my brother. Even after several years of coming out to my family, he still thinks that the whole thing is just a phase. Him and my mother both like to ridicule me on my choice of partner, saying that it’s a disgrace to the family and that I embarrass them. Will has always been the favorite out of the family. In my mother’s eyes, Will could do no damage. He has the “perfect” job, the “perfect” house, along with the “perfect” fiancé. Every time I see him, I just want to punch him because he pisses me off.

 

Laura would always make fun of William along with me. In fact, it was a typical past time for the both of us. She never liked Will just because he was never friendly towards her and he would ignore the fact that she’s even present in the room. It was actually quite cute watching how much she wanted to kick his ass. He was the only family member that Laura met. She always asked about my mother, but I would turn her pleas down each and every time. Like I said earlier, I don’t trust my lovely mother around her and I would much rather she didn’t even know of Laura’s existence. And it all worked out until the very last week that I was with Laura…

 

_I pulled into my mother’s driveway, getting a call from her ordering me to drop by the house today. When Mother gives an order, it’s best to follow it or there will be hell to pay later. I didn’t have to wait at the door for very long, because after one knock the door flew open. I was met with the cold and unloving eyes that belonged to my darling mother._

_“Mircalla, please do come in.” My mother said as she opened the door more for me._

_I rolled my eyes and walked into the house while saying, “I’ve told you over and over again_ Mother _that it’s Carmilla.”_

_I heard the door shut and I knew she was following me into the sitting room. “Oh please, your birth name is Mircalla, I don’t know why you are so ashamed of it.”_

_Sitting down in the chair, I turned to my mother’s direction and mumbled quietly, “Maybe it’s because you thought of it?”_

_She gave me a stern look and said, “Excuse me?”_

_I shook my head and threw on a fake smile for her. “Oh nothing Mother. Now, as much as I love being here, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”_

_She glared at me for a few more minutes and then said, “Yes, I had you come here because something very…interesting…has been brought to my attention.” I felt my heart stop the second she said that._ Oh no…please don’t tell me she found out about Laura. _Thankfully, she didn’t see that I was freaking out so she continued. “As you know, William spends a great deal here. Just the other day, he mentioned that he came and visited you and he told me that you’ve been hanging around the same girl for several months now. What did he say her name was? Oh yes, a Laura Hollis, does that ring any bells?”_

_I gulped and nodded my head yes. I knew better than to lie to my mother because chances are, if she’s bringing it up to you then she already knows the full story. “Yes, she’s my girlfriend Mother. We have been together for over two years now.”_

_Her face grew stiff and I knew that nothing good was going to come out of this situation. “Now, what have I told you about dating these…girls. I’m sure Laura is a lovely lady but shouldn’t you be looking for a husband? You shouldn’t be wasting your time with petty things like dating the same sex.”_

_I tried my best not to roll my eyes, really I did, but as my sentence started leaving my mouth, I found my eyes rolling themselves. “Mother, I’ve told you this before. I don’t like men like that. I prefer women, they make me happy.”_

_She sat up straighter and I could tell she was getting angry with the conversation. “And I would much rather prefer not to have a daughter who likes to disgrace the Karnstein name. It’s about time you get over this ridiculous phase in your life and date a man.”_

_“I’m not going to just leave Laura, Mother. I love her! I’m_ in _love with her!” I all but yelled._

_She slammed her fist into the side table and yelled, “You don’t know what love is Mircalla!” She then sighed and tried to relax herself. “Now, if you don’t end this…thing…with this Laura girl, I will be forced to take further action. And if I recall, you wouldn’t want me to do that, now would you?”_

_I gulped and my mind instantly went to Ell. Ell was an ex girlfriend of mine long before Laura came into the picture. I was with Ell for almost three years when Mother found out and took action. Before I could break up with her though, Ell got into a head on collision with another vehicle and was killed instantly._

_I looked down with tears in my eyes, trying to hide them from the bitch I call my mother. Finally getting myself together, I looked back up at her and said, “I’ll handle it this week Mother. Just…just give me a week before you try to get in between yet another relationship.”_

_She seemed pleased with this answer and said very happily, “Good. I’ll give you a week Mircalla, but after that I_ will _take further action.”_

_“Now that we have that settled, is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”_

 

Ever since that day with Ell, I have never forgiven my mother for what she’s done. The article in the paper said that it was an accident, but I really knew what it was. It was my mother taking further action. Which is why I left Laura so suddenly and without any explanation. I knew if I tried to explain to her why I’m leaving, she would follow me. It’s bad enough that my mother knows about Laura’s existence, I didn’t want her to find out where Laura lived as well. And that meant not letting her follow me. I’ll be damned to let what happened to Ell happen to Laura.

 

I went almost three years without trying to talk to her. It’s not like I didn’t want to, trust me it pained me to be away for that long. I just couldn’t get myself to bring her that pain of having me in her life again. It wasn’t until that third year that I tried communicating to her. It started off with just one letter, explaining briefly why I couldn’t stay and begging her to let me explain face to face. Knowing how stubborn Laura can be though, I decided to write to her every week for a month. I knew I was never going to get a response though, I mean…I would hate me too if I was her. It wasn’t until I was scrolling on Facebook when I came across LaFontaine’s profile. I added them and to my surprise, they added me back.

 

LaF and I created a small friendship, or more like acquaintanceship. They were the only one that would actually talk to me. Perry is a nice person and all, but I knew that she could never forgive me for what I’ve done with Laura. As far as I know, Danny was nowhere in the picture so I didn’t even try talking to her. And upon further investigation, I realized that Kirsch and Laura have become strangely best friends, which I was really glad to see.

 

I decided to move back to New York, not being able to stand being away any longer. The first thing I did was ask LaFontaine if they could meet me somewhere so we could talk. Thankfully, they agreed and even offered to come alone, which I was very relieved to hear.

 

Because of traffic, I got to the diner a little later than planned. I looked around the building trying to find the familiar face of the Bio major. I almost didn’t recognize them when they started to wave me over. Walking towards the table, I noticed that their hair was shorter than it was back in college. Now instead of the swooped looked, they had their hair gelled up in the air. They were wearing a collard long sleeved shirt underneath a sweater vest, with kind of baggy jeans. I smiled to myself, instantly being reminded of the typical LaFontaine look.

 

When I reached the table, they stood up and said, “Hey Carmilla. I’m glad you made it! I was actually getting a little worried you weren’t going to show.”

 

I smiled friendly enough, LaFontaine always being one of my favorites out of Laura’s friends. “I should say the same to you. I’m really sorry I was a little late though. I forgot how bad the traffic could be here.”

 

They laughed and said, “That’s New York for you. How was your flight? Did you have any delays? I know we had a little bit of a snowstorm a few days ago.”

 

We both managed to sit down at the table. I noticed that they had already ordered a coffee, probably getting impatient waiting on me. The waiter, noticing that I arrived at the table, walked over to us and asked for my order. I told him my order, a simple Pepsi, and he smiled and walked towards the drinks.

 

“Surprisingly I didn’t have any delays. I kind of figured I would have had one for the flight closest to New York.” The waiter came back and slid my drink next to me. I smiled at him and said thanks.

 

LaFontaine nodded their head and said, “Well that’s good. So um…what exactly was it that you wanted to talk to me about Carmilla? I know you didn’t want to just meet up for a catch up.”

 

I smiled at them being able to read right through me. It seems like LaF has always been good at doing that with others. “Well, I’m sure by now you’ve heard about me writing to Laura multiple times, am I correct?”

 

They nodded their head and said, “Dude yeah. Did you even think about what her reaction was going to be? Because I’m pretty sure it destroyed her, which is definitely not cool Karnstein. I mean, the girl _just_ got over you, at least for the time being, and then there you go sending letters saying you love her and shit.”

 

I stopped them from rambling by saying, “First off, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt Laura even more. I know when I left I broke her heart.”

 

“More like destroyed her world and made her become a little ball of depression.” LaF said while giving me their not too pleased look.

 

I sighed and said, “I know…anyway…I mainly wrote to her because I wanted to get the chance to meet with her face to face and explain my reasoning on why I left.”

 

“Speaking of, why _did_ you leave anyway? Because when you two were dating, I’m pretty positive I saw nothing but love there. Did you cheat on her? Because I swear to god if you cheated on her I’m going to kick your ass.” LaFontaine said as they tried to give me their best intimidating look.

 

I just rolled my eyes at them and said, “First of all, you don’t scare me. Second of all, I could easily kick your ass any day and you know it. And third of all, I would _never_ cheat on Laura. Ever. I love her too much to do that.”

 

“But yet you just up and leave from her life. Because that’s a fantastic way of showing how much you love someone. Good job.” They said as they clapped their hands sarcastically.

 

I sighed and said, “Okay, I deserve that.”

 

“You deserve a hell of a lot more than that. Just imagine if Laura got a hold of you. Or even Danny. Oh Danny would love to kick your ass.”

 

Rolling my eyes I said, “Oh please, Amazon couldn’t kick my ass even if she tried. Height means absolutely nothing. And Danny is back? I thought she was traveling?”

 

They shook their head and said, “No, she came back a few months ago actually. She’s actually the reason why Laura has gotten over you, or has at least forgotten about you some.”

 

I felt my heart break even more at hearing that. “Oh um…are…are they dating?”

 

They just looked at me like I was crazy, which confused me more. “Come on, it’s like you don’t know Laura at all. Do you really think that shorty would date Jolly Green over there?” I shrugged my shoulders, honestly not knowing the answer. LaF just rolled their eyes and said, “Well the answer is no. And we are getting way off subject here. Why did you leave Laura?”

 

I sighed and said, “Look…I don’t really want to get into it right now, and it’s a long story.”

 

They just looked at me unimpressed and said, “I have time. And if you want any chance of seeing Laura face to face, I would get to explaining Karnstein.”

 

I looked at them surprised by their reaction. They are never the one to take control of a conversation. I have always known them to be laid back and just let someone else take charge. _Hm…must be around Little Miss Sunshine too much._

 

I then decided that I had nothing else to lose and that I might as well explain my reasons. I did leave out a little bit of detail, especially the part about my mother potentially murdering my old ex girlfriend. I couldn’t have that theory being placed in the wrong hands, that could get either myself or others killed. After explaining, LaFontaine looked a little more understanding, but a little confused.

 

“What I don’t get is, how in the hell could you let your own mother take control of your life? You’re what? A twenty-four/five year old grown woman?” They said while looking at me.

 

I sighed and said, “You’re not understanding what I told you. My mother isn’t like a typical parent. It’s literally what she says goes. Her word is basically law. If either of her children disobey, there _will_ be hell to pay and we may not live to tell the tale.”

 

“Then completely disconnect from her! Cut all ties with the crazy bitch!”

 

“If only it was that easy. I’ve tried on multiple occasions to cut all ties from her, but she keeps finding her way back in my life. She’s never accepted my preference of dating and has always liked my brother Will a shit ton more than me. In her eyes, I’m just the scum of the family and nothing I do is right.” I said as I looked over at them.

 

They sighed and said, “I’m guessing Laura doesn’t know your mother then?”

 

I shook my head no and said, “ No, she’s never met her. I tried to keep it that way for a reason, and it would have been fine if it weren’t for my brother. He ruins everything.”

 

“Well…I guess you need to see Laura and explain things to her.” LaF said, taking a sip of their coffee.

 

I perked up at the mention of possibly seeing Laura again. I then remembered that she wanted nothing to do with me and I deflated again. “Yeah, that sounds easy and all except for one tiny part. Laura hasn’t responded to any of my letters and I’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me.”

 

“You know how stubborn Laura can be though Carmilla. And besides, I’m pretty close with her. I could possibly get a meeting of some sort set up so you can explain to her. She’ll probably hate me for it once she catches on, but she’ll forgive me eventually.” LaF said.

 

I looked at them curiously now. “How in the hell are we going to do that?”

 

“Easy. Just meet here in a few weeks okay? I’ll message you the details later.”

 

A couple of weeks have gone by since the meeting and it was now the day that I finally see Laura face to face. I’m not going to lie, I am pretty nervous since I haven’t seen her for three years now. I’m so scared that she’s not going to give me the chance to explain myself to her. What if she just walks out? What if she tells me that she hates my guts and never wants to see me again? I sighed and tried to take a deep breath to relax myself. _You need to stop overthinking everything Karnstein. This is how you give yourself anxiety._

 

I decided on wearing my typical leather black pants, along with a shirt that shows off my abs a little, and my favorite pair of boots. To try and attempt to keep myself warm, I threw on my old leather jacket, the one that Laura had worn on multiple occasions. The drive to the diner didn’t take that long from my small apartment, maybe ten minutes maximum. After finding a parking spot, I walked towards the entrance, making the bell go off. Scanning the place, I looked around to find LaF and Laura. Spotting them over in the corner, I could feel my heart start to race. As I got closer, I could hear Laura’s voice (which sounded so different than what I remembered it as by the way) arguing with LaFontaine in a hushed tone.

 

“Now, I don’t want you to get mad at me okay Laura? Just keep in mind that I did this because I thought it would bring you closure or something. But now that I thought about it, I realized that I probably should have asked you about it first. But um…ImayhavewroteCarmillabackandtoldhertomeetyouheretodayatthisshop.” LaF said in response to whatever Laura had just asked.

 

I then heard Laura respond back confused on what they just told her. “Woah, woah, wait. Can you say that again? But slower so I can understand??”

 

I could see LaF visibly get more and more nervous as the conversation continued. I made sure to stay out of eyesight, but close enough to where I could still hear the conversation, waiting for the right time to join.

 

“I may have wrote Carmilla back from one of your letters and told her to meet you here today at this shop. Please don’t be mad at me.”

 

I figured now was as good of a time as any to join. Leaving from my hiding spot, I came into view, LaFontaine showing a small sense of relief, but still very nervous. Walking up to Laura, I hesitantly said, “Laura? Is…is that you?”

 

I watched as she visibly froze, probably not knowing what to do at this point. She slowly turned around in her seat to meet my gaze, and when she did, I would have sworn my heart stopped right then and there. Laura was absolutely beautiful, gotten more beautiful as she grew older. Her hair is still just as long and still the same brunette color as it was years ago. A set of warm, brown eyes met mine, instantly giving me butterflies. My mind instantly went to the fact that I had absolutely destroyed this girl. That I have caused those deep, dark, circles that are under her eyes.

 

I could see the reaction her body was doing because of my presence, and it made me start smiling again. It was instantly wiped off though when she glared at me and spoke.

 

“What are you doing here Carmilla?”

 

I didn’t have a chance to respond when LaFontaine decided to speak up. “Now Laura, be nice. Carmilla just wants the chance to talk to you face to face. I think you owe her that much. Wouldn’t you like to hear an explanation?”

 

She turned her glare on them, making them look down instantly with a guilty look. I honestly felt bad for LaF. “I could give two shits what her explanation is LaFontaine. _She_ is the one who left _me._ _She_ decided that after a two year relationship could just up and walk out of my life without giving me a damn explanation. And I definitely do _not_ owe her anything.”

 

I decided to try and calm her down, and I probably did the one thing that I shouldn’t have done. Not yet at least. I walked over to her and gently placed my hand on her shoulder. As soon as my hand touched her shoulder (which it received instant sparks that shot from my fingertips to my entire body) she shot up from her seat, jerking away from me, and faced me.

 

“Cupcake I…” I started to say, but was interrupted with a slap to my face. And I got to hand it to her, it hurt quite a bit. I heard LaF gasp at what happened as I closed my eyes shut, keeping my anger in check. _Relax Karnstein. You deserved it and you know it. Don’t get pissed at her for doing what’s been coming to you for years._

 

She glared at me once again and said angrily, “NO! You don’t get to do that anymore Carmilla! I don’t think you understand the damage you did to me. I was _in love_ with you Carmilla Karnstein! I wanted to fucking _marry_ you someday! When you left…that absolutely _destroyed_ me to the point where I thought about nothing but death for the past three years. I wanted to die, but then I thought that was just letting you win. So I finally found the courage to get over you completely and when I finally am, you fucking waltz back here like you’ve never left! Well you know what? This is _my_ life and I refuse to let you back in! You had your chance to explain to me why you left. But all I got was voicemails and texts saying that your number has been disconnected. So do you want to know what I think? Fuck you Carmilla, and I _never_ want to see you again. And if I do, don’t think I won’t hesitate to put a restraining order on your pathetic ass.”

 

She turned back around to grab her things and next thing I know, she’s out of the building, leaving LaF and I completely speechless.

 

“Carmilla…I am so incredibly sorry. I didn’t think she would react like that. I mean…it was definitely hardcore…but Laura is the complete opposite of that. I’m really sorry.” LaF said, trying to apologize to me.

 

I braced myself, trying to keep the tears out of view. “No…it’s not your fault. I deserved it and it was long over due. But um…I’m just going to head back to my apartment. I’ll just uh…I’ll talk to you later.”

 

It’s been at least a week since the incident happened and I have slowly gotten worse. All I want is to just explain myself to Laura. If I do, then maybe…just _maybe_ …she will forgive me to an extent and we could possibly be friends again. That’s all I want…to be back in her life in some way. Because having her out of it has been driving me absolutely insane. I was interrupted from my thoughts from a message on Facebook. Grabbing my phone, I looked and saw it was from LaFontaine.

 

**LaFontaine:** Hey, I just got off the phone with Laura a few minutes ago and we discussed what happened a week ago at the diner. She um…she said that she would like to meet up and talk things out. Does that sound good?

My heart lit up at the thought of Laura wanting to talk to me. _Maybe she does want to forgive me after all? Maybe I can have my chance to be in her life again, even if it’s just as friends._ I instantly typed back a response.

 

**Carmilla Karnstein:** Yes! God yes that sounds amazing! How about tomorrow? The same diner?


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry for the little longer of the wait. I've been incredibly busy this week and I just now had a chance to type a chapter up for you guys. This one is a little shorter than the rest, but it was mainly because I really wanted to get a chapter out for you guys and hopefully get the story moving along. I would like to thank everyone for all of the amazing support you've been giving me. It really means a lot. So, without further delay, here's the next chapter for you. Enjoy! =)

** Chapter Five **

I’ve been reading that text that LaF has sent me over and over again since yesterday. I instantly regretted telling them that I will give Carmilla a chance to explain herself. It’s not that I’m scared or anything, I just feel like it’s going to be insanely awkward.

 

Sighing, I looked at the time and realized that I should probably get ready if I want to be there on time. After taking a shower, I decided on wearing a nice pair of jeans, a blue-buttoned flannel, and decided to keep my hair down. Looking at my appearance, I decided that I looked as good as I could and left my apartment to go meet up with my ex. It’s not that I want to impress her with how I look, I just want her to realize what all she gave up. _Don’t lie to yourself Hollis, you know the real reason why you want to look nice is because you want to impress her._

 

I got to the diner in plenty of time. In fact, I was a little early. Walking into the building, I did a quick sweep and was very surprised to see her already sitting. Carmilla decided on a seat in the back and as soon as we made eye contact, I swear I felt my heart beat a little faster. _God dammit heart, you’re not supposed to react like that. Be pissed at her. She broke you._ I slowly walked over to the table, and once I was close enough, I saw Carmilla stand up from her chair to greet me.

 

“Laura! You actually made it! I mean…it’s not like I didn’t think you wouldn’t…I mean…uh…yeah, hi.” Carmilla rambled nervously.

 

I couldn’t help but smile a little at that. I forgot she tended to ramble when she was nervous. “Hey. Sorry if I had you waiting long. I was actually a little early coming here.”

 

She smiled and we both sat down at the table. “No, I haven’t been here long. It seems like we both had the same idea though. So uh…” As she was about to say something, the waiter walked over to our table.

 

“Hello, may I start you two off with something to drink?” The waiter asked, smiling at both of us.

 

“Yes, I will take a regular coke and she would like a grape soda.” Carmilla ordered, clearly out of habit. The waiter smiled and said he would be right back. I found myself blushing like mad as Carmilla looked over at me embarrassed. “I um…I’m sorry for ordering for you. I guess it’s still just a habit that I can’t break.”

 

I blushed more and looked down at the menu shyly. “No, it’s not a problem. I guess that’s just one of the things that makes you…you.”

 

She smiled a little and looked up at me. I could tell she was fully looking me over because I watched as her eyes slowly trailed over my body, but respectfully. “So you look really good Laura.”

 

I blushed and smiled a little more and said, “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

 

“So…how have you been? Are you still doing journalism?” Carmilla asked curiously.

 

I sighed a little, remembering she hasn’t been in my life for the past three years. I was about to respond when the waiter decided to come back. After taking our orders, Carmilla ordering a burger with fries and ordering a salad for myself, I looked back up at my ex to answer her question.

 

“I’ve been alright. Yes, I’m still doing journalism. I’m currently working at the New York Times, but I’m not sure if I like the job or not.” I said honestly.

 

Carmilla looked surprised and said, “What? Really? But I thought that was your dream job?”

 

“It is…or it was…I don’t know. It’s just not what it’s all cracked up to be. I mean…all I do is edit the articles. If I’m lucky, I’ll get to have my own small article. I just…I don’t know. And I feel bad because LaFontaine had to pull some strings in order for me to get this job.” I said while sighing and taking a big drink of my grape soda.

 

I felt a hand being placed on top of mine gently, making me look up at her. She immediately removed her hand and mumbled out a sorry. I heard her sigh and then speak again. “Cupcake…I mean, Laura…if the job doesn’t make you happy, then you should just go out there and search for a job that does. Why waste your time on something that doesn’t make you happy?”

 

I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I really couldn’t help it. “Yeah…you’re the one to talk about not being happy and wasting your time.”

 

She looked at me hurt, and I really did feel bad for saying the comment. She sighed quietly and said, “Okay…I deserve that. And I suppose now is a good of a time as any to just get to explaining. Where do you want me to start?”

 

“How about from the beginning? That would be nice.” I then sat up so I could look at her better. “Why? Why did you leave me Carmilla? I _loved_ you. You were my entire world and you just up and left without an explanation. _Why_?”

 

She sighed and looked me in the eyes the entire time she talked. “Laura, never question my love for you. Ever. I know it seems hard to believe this, but I did love you. Hell, I _still_ love you. I’m _still_ head over heels in love with you. I have thought about that day since the moment I left three years ago, and I have hated myself for it each and every day too.”

 

“If you loved me, then why did you leave? Stop avoiding the question and tell me Carm.” I said, getting slightly annoyed.

 

She smiled a little at my old nickname for her, but quickly wiped it off so she could explain. “I left because of my mother.”

 

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. _She left because of her mother? Out of all the excuses, why her mother??_ “Um…did I hear that correctly? You left because of your _mother_? What does she have to do with any of this?? Stop making up excuses Carmilla.”

 

She sighed and looked me directly in the eyes and said, “I’m not making any of this up Laura. You have to believe me. I know it’s hard to, but just listen okay? I don’t think I could repeat this again.” She stopped and waited for me to nod my head. Once I did, she continued to look me in the eyes, slightly leaning towards the table and closer to me. “Now, I know this sounds crazy, but if you met my mother then you would understand. I know I’ve told you in the past that she’s never accepted my sexuality. Hell, you’ve seen it with how Will has acted around the both of us. I had to leave you to protect you from my mother. If I would have stayed, then something serious would have happened to you.”

 

“And how am I supposed to believe you Carmilla?” I asked curiously.

 

“I said to not interrupt me Laura, I’m not done explaining.” I sighed annoyed and she took that as her cue to continue. “Several years ago, well before me and you even knew about one another, I met this girl named Ell. Things got pretty serious with her and Mother found out about the relationship three years in. Here’s a thing you need to know about my mother Laura, when she doesn’t like something, she will stop at nothing to make sure the problem is removed. And since she has such a powerful influence, she can get away with it.”

 

I gulped a little, thinking about the possibilities that could happen. “So, what happened with your ex?”

 

She sighed and continued on. “When Mother found out, she was furious. She demanded that I stop being a disgrace to the Karnstein name and get over my ‘silly phase and get a real man.’ So, I told her that I would break up with Ell to make her happy. Well, I didn’t do it fast enough for her liking so she took matters into her own hands. Before I could break things off with her…Ell…she um…she got into a really bad accident. The driver hit her head on and it killed her instantly.”

 

I felt my heart break just a little bit more hearing the story. I could feel myself slide my hand over hers, rubbing it gently. Seeing tears start to form in her eyes, I squeezed her hand lightly and said, “I am so sorry Carmilla. Did they find the person who hit her?”

 

She sniffed and squeezed my hand back and said, “No. But I know who did it and I know it wasn’t an accident. When I told my mother what happened, all she had to say was ‘good riddance, I’m glad that the problem is no more.”

 

“Wait…you think your own mother?...”

 

“I don’t think, I know she was the cause of the accident Laura. Like I said, you don’t know my mother like I do. She has an entire dark side that she likes to keep hidden. That’s why I left without letting you know anything. The day before I left, she called me over to her house to speak to me about something. We had the same conversation with one another, just like we did before Ell died. She threatened to step in if I didn’t leave you and I couldn’t even stand the thought of harm coming your way. So, I did the only thing I could do…I completely disappeared from your life. I knew if I left that you would be safe.” Carmilla said while looking at me.

 

I pulled my hand away from her, making her look confused with what was happening. I instantly became furious at her and said, “How dare you! We had been dating for two years and all you did was just leave me! How was that anywhere close to being fair to me? Huh Carmilla? Because the way that I see it, it seems completely selfish. You could have told me what was going on! We could have worked something out! But instead, you think that completely disappearing from my world would solve everything??”

 

“If caring for the safety of the woman that I love is me being selfish, then fine I’m selfish! Is that what you want to hear Laura? That I’m some selfish asshole who left you? You’re not the only one that it affected! I haven’t been the same since that day Laura. I’ve cried myself to sleep _every_ day since the second you’ve left my life. I have been so depressed and miserable that the only way to escape it is to turn to alcohol. And then after I get shit face drunk, I pick up my guitar and write pathetic love songs that you’ll never get to hear. I haven’t had an actual night’s rest since our last day together. Now, you can either choose to believe my reasons for leaving or not, but everything I’ve told you is the truth. Yeah, it was a shit way to deal with things, but I do stupid things when it comes to the ones that I love.” Carmilla got up and placed enough money to cover the entire bill. “Now, clearly you don’t want anything to do with me so I’m not going to waste your time anymore. It was really nice seeing you again Laura and I’m glad that I got to at least explain a little bit why I left.”

 

I watched as she took one last look at me and then slowly walked out of the building. I decided on what I wanted to do and quickly gathered my things to try and catch up to her. I ran outside and thankfully she didn’t get that far.

 

“Hey Carm! Wait up!” I yelled as I ran towards her, thankfully not tripping on any leftover ice on the sidewalks.

 

She stopped walking and watched as I caught up to her. Once I was standing by her, she said, “What do you want Laura? I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me?”

 

I sighed and said, “I never said that Carmilla. But, I’ve been thinking about what you said and…I don’t see how it would hurt to be friends at least. Or at least start there and see what happens. What do you think?”

 

She smiled and said, “I think I would like that very much cupcake. I really do have to go though. But hey, give me your phone and I’ll put my number in it for you. I mean…just in case you want to hang out or something?”

 

I grinned and handed her my phone and said, “Just as long as you promise not to bombard it with random pictures again like you used to.”

 

She grinned and typed in her number and I assumed sent herself a message. “Hey now, I know for a fact that you’ve enjoyed my gummy bear adventures stories.”

 

I laughed at remembering those and said, “I remember that! You were so drunk that night! Those poor little headless bears, they never had a chance.”

 

She just grinned and said, “See? I knew you enjoyed them. But really, I need to head back home before it gets dark. It was uh…it was really nice to see you again. Maybe we could hang out sometime soon?”

 

I smiled and said, “Hmm…maybe if you’re lucky enough.” I winked at her and told her bye as I walked away. I blushed when I could feel eyes watching me the entire time.

 

_“So, how was it Hollis?”_

 

I sighed, plopping down on my bed. I really regret calling LaF right when I got home. “It was alright I guess. It started out a little awkward.”

 

I told them the rough outline about what happened, which they got pretty excited about hearing Carmilla and I being friends again. _“See? I told you that you guys would become friends again! Before you know it, you’ll be lovers all over again.”_

 

I laughed at that and said, “I thought you didn’t like Carmilla? That she was ‘a selfish bitch who just used me?”

 

_“Yeah well…she has convinced me otherwise. But she is on a very short leash and one mess up could ruin it all for her. But I am glad that you’re giving Carmilla a chance, even if it just turns out to be friends or something. But anyway, I need to get off here. I’ll see you tomorrow at the office.”_

 

I told them goodbye and hung up my phone. I rolled over and turned out my light, trying to attempt to fall asleep. It was nearly impossible though since all of my thoughts have been taken over with the image of Carmilla. Right as I was falling asleep, I heard my phone go off.

 

I reached over to see that it was a text from the girl who never leaves my thoughts. **“Random question: hot cocoa or grape soda?”**

Confused on what she’s asking, I typed out, **“What exactly are you asking me?”**

The response was almost instant. **“You know me, I like to ask random questions cupcake. Now, answer the question. ;)”**

 

I smiled and said, **“If it’s cold out, I prefer hot cocoa if it’s available. If not, then grape soda all the way.”**

 

The last response took a little to come in, but when it did, I found myself rolling my eyes but smiling at it. **“Hm…good to know. =) Goodnight creampuff.”**

 

I swear this girl is going to give me a headache one of these days. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, I've decided that I'm going to be updating this story at least once a week, twice a week if I have time, just mainly because I'm either busy with school or with my girlfriend. I'm not going to set an exact day though just because I don't want to get people's hopes up for an update on that day and then I don't actually update on that day. But, I do want to give a huge thank you to all of you guys for your amazing support on this story. It seriously means the world to me and it's so awesome how supportive this fandom is. Hell, even some of the cast members read some of the fanfiction (which makes me extremely nervous if they will come across mine). Anyway, this fandom is seriously so awesome and I love it. =) This chapter is once again just a little shorter than the previous ones have been, but not as short as the last one I don't think. So, without further ado, here's the next chapter. Enjoy! =)

** Chapter Six **

I awoke the next morning in a fairly decent mood. Thinking about what happened yesterday made me smile and my heart flutter just a tiny bit. I may have forgiven my ex, but she is going to be put on a very tight leash. Even though, I am really glad that we are trying the whole friend thing. _I just hope she’s not as moody and broody as she was when we first became friends._ I laughed at the memory of the beginning part of our relationship.

 

_I was just finishing up a video project for one of my journalism classes when I heard the door to my dorm room being opened. Expecting to see LaF or Perry, I turned around and was met with someone entirely different who I have never seen before. I felt my breath hitch in my throat and instantly got weak in the knees._ Holy shit this girl is gorgeous! _I quickly remembered that I had no clue what this stranger was doing in my dorm room._

_“Um…hi? Not to be rude but uh…who the hell are you??” I asked curiously._

_She grinned at me and said, “Well hello to you too. I’m your new roommate cutie.”_

_I blushed at the name and said, “I thought Betty was my roommate? What happened with her?”_

_She shrugged her shoulders and walked over to the bed that used to have Betty’s belongings. I must have been so into my video that I never realized that all of Betty’s things were gone. “I’m afraid I don’t really know the answer to that cupcake. I think she may have transferred to Princeton or something.”_

_I continued to watch my new roommate in awe. This girl is beyond gorgeous. She has longish dark brown (possibly black?) hair and I can see the chocolate eyes from my seat. I looked her over and also noticed that she was wearing black leather pants with black boots and a shirt that showed off her very toned stomach._

_“See something you like cupcake?”_

_I blushed and looked away before I could embarrass myself even further. “Oh uh…sorry…”_

_She just continued to smirk and walked over to me and extended her hand out. “By the way, my name is Carmilla Karnstein.”_

_I took her hand and I felt an instant spark travel up my entire body. I gulped and quickly pulled my hand away and said, “It’s uh…it’s nice to meet you Carmilla. I’m Laura Hollis.”_

Our friendship started off very shaky surprisingly. Let’s just say that Carmilla wasn’t the easiest person to live with for an entire year. She left hair in the drain _all_ the time, left her clothes _everywhere_ , and she never followed my chore wheel that I created at the beginning of the year. We actually didn’t start to become friends until halfway through the year, mainly because of a bonding moment. I remember the day like it just happened, mainly because that was when I realized my true feelings for Carmilla.

 

_I was doing homework by my computer desk when the door was thrown open. I turned around and saw Carmilla storming into the room with tears streaming down her face. I was about to ask what was wrong when she instantly came over to me and pulled me towards her. I felt her lay her head on my chest and I put my arms around her out of instinct. I felt my heart start to flutter like crazy, and I tried to ignore them before they could get out of hand._

_“Um…not that I don’t mind cheering you up Carm but uh…what exactly is wrong? You’re never the touchy-feely type.” I said as I heard her sniff and pull me a little closer._

_“Shut up Hollis and just hold me okay? I just need to feel that someone actually cares right now.” She said muffled._

 

_I could feel my heart break at the sound of her voice. I sighed quietly and rubbed her back slowly. It was silent for a little bit, only the sounds of her sniffing could be heard. I could tell she was calming down so I figured now was the time I could ask about what happened._

_“So, do you want to talk about it? Or do you want me to just let it go?” I asked softly, still rubbing her back slowly._

_She pulled away a little so she could look at me. I looked up and met her eyes and I felt my heart start to beat rapidly. This girl was seriously the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen._

_“I went to my mother’s house today and my stupid, annoying, spoiled brother was there. I know he’s the favorite out of the family, but I just wish Mother would actually show that she loved me too.” Carmilla said as she looked at me sadly._

_“What did your mother say to you Carm?” I asked quietly._

_She shrugged and stayed silent for a little bit. I sighed and decided it was best to let her speak in her own time. She finally spoke again after a few minutes. “…she said that I was a disgrace to the family and that she wishes I was never born.”_

_“Oh Carm that’s terrible! Surely your own mother didn’t say that.” I said, refusing to believe anyone could be that cruel to their child._

_She looked up at me and in my eyes and I could tell that she was speaking the truth. I could feel my heart break just a little bit more from it. “You clearly don’t know my family at all Cupcake. Let’s just say that my mother thinks she’s the queen of the universe here. What she says is the absolute law and she doesn’t want to have her daughter ruin her precious reputation.”_

_I quickly pulled her into my arms again, and thankfully she let me. “I am so sorry you have to deal with that Carmilla. No one should go through that when it comes to family.”_

_“I’m used to it by now. It’s been nineteen years and nothing has ever changed, so I’ve just learned to deal with it Cupcake.” Carmilla said, laying her head against my chest._

_I pulled away some so she could look at me. When she didn’t look me in the eyes though, I lifted her chin up lightly with my finger and made her look me in the eyes. “Carmilla whatever your middle name is Karnstein, you have no reason to be ashamed of who you are. Even though you can be a huge pain in my ass, you can also be an amazing person and an amazing friend as well. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life and your mother is a fool to think that you are a disgrace. In fact, she should be the one who is a disgrace considering she treats you so poorly. I’m so glad that you’re my friend and I’m going to make sure that we are always in each other’s lives, no matter what happens.”_

_Carmilla looks up at me with a shy smile and said, “Really? Do you mean that? Because no one has ever said that to me before.”_

_I smiled and nodded my head and said, “Of course I mean it Carm. I really care about you.”_

_She blushes and it’s silent for a little bit. She all of a sudden looks back up at me and says, “It’s Jane by the way.” I must have looked confused because she smiles and says, “My middle name. It’s Jane.”_

_I smiled and said, “Carmilla Jane Karnstein…I like it. Mine is Kate by the way.”_

_It was then that I realized that I was falling for her. I was falling hard._

From that day forward we become a lot closer. Hell, I remember we would spend most of the time flirting with one another without even knowing it. Danny came into the picture as well, and that was when she started liking me as more than just a friend. I remember it would bug the hell out of Carmilla when Danny came over to hang out. I don’t know why I didn’t catch on before that she was reacting out of jealousy…I guess the gang is right when they told me that I’m really oblivious.

 

The day that Carmilla and I both admitted our feelings for one another was definitely a tough one. In fact, it all started with a fight between us.

 

_I slammed my books down on my desk, pissed that Carmilla was treating me like shit. Ever since Danny had come over earlier that day, Carmilla has been blowing me off and saying nothing but rude comments towards me all day and I have had enough of it._

_“What the hell is your problem Karnstein??” I said angrily._

_She glared up at me and said, “I don’t have a problem Laura.”_

_I knew something was up because since the day we’ve gotten closer, Carmilla has always called me either cutie, cupcake, or creampuff for some strange reason. I glared at her and said, “That’s complete bull shit and you know it.”_

_Her eyebrow rose just slightly on her forehead and it took everything in me not to jump her right then and there. “Oh look who decided to actually use big girl words today? I’m impressed Cupcake.”_

_I got up and walked over to her bed to stand right in front of her. She sighed and closed the book she was reading and looked up at me annoyed. “Can I help you cutie?”_

_“Yeah, you can by telling me why in the hell you’re being a total bitch to me today. You’ve been one since this afternoon.” I said, instantly regretting my words as soon as I saw her glaring up at me._

_She stood up and was soon head to head with me, her being slightly taller. “What did you just call me?”_

_Growing courage all of a sudden, I said, “You heard me. I called you a bitch, because you’re being one.”_

_She chuckled slightly and said, “I’m going to let that one go cutie, but next time I won’t be so kind.”_

_She was about to sit back down on her bed when I reached out to spin her around to face me again. She glared at me again and I still somehow had the courage to stand up to her. “Well I’m not going to let this go Carmilla. I don’t understand why in the hell you’re always so moody all the time! It’s so frustrating! And it seems to get worse every time Danny comes around!”_

_She glared even more and said through gritted teeth, “Gee, I wonder why? Maybe it’s because I strongly dislike the Jolly Green Giant?”_

_“And that’s another thing! Why do you hate Danny so much? She’s not done anything to you!” I yelled, finally letting my emotions show._

_She rolled her eyes and said, “I don’t have to explain anything to you. I’m gong to go for a walk.”_

_She slipped around me but thankfully I beat her to the door, completely blocking it and keeping her from leaving the room. She sighed annoyed and said, “Move Laura, I don’t want to hurt you.”_

_I crossed my arms across my chest and said, “No, not until you tell me what your problem is.”_

_“Can’t you just let it go for once? I understand you want to be a journalist, but newsflash: you’re not Lois Lane and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be.” Carmilla said bitterly._

_As soon as she said that, I could tell she regretted it. I could feel tears pricking my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. “Just tell me what your problem is and then I’ll be out of your way.”_

_She got angry again and said, “I’m not telling you.”_

_“Just tell me!”_

_“No Laura! Now seriously let it go!”_

_“God dammit, just tell me you idiotic, broody, stubborn girl!”_

_I soon felt lips on top of mine and before I could even react, they disappeared from them. I stood there, wide eyed, not knowing what to do or say. Carmilla just looked at me and said, “I dislike her because she gets to kiss you and hold your hand, and just be around you. I would kill to be able to do all of that plus more with you. When I see her around you, I just get extremely angry and I just choose to leave before I do something stupid. Kind of like what I did just now…so I’m going to leave before I get even more embarrassed.”_

_Carmilla tried to go around me, but I was able to stop her from leaving. She was about to ask what I was doing when I suddenly pulled her closer to me and said quietly, “Danny doesn’t get to do those things with me Carm. Besides, there’s only one person I want to do that with and she’s standing right here.”_

_Once she realized what I said, a big smile formed on Carmilla’s face. I felt her get closer to me and slowly slide her hands on my face. “Really? So, you wouldn’t mind if I kissed you properly?”_

_Instead of answering, I got the courage and leaned in all the way and kissed her softly._

 

After an intense make out session, we both told each other our feelings for one another and we eventually went on our first date. Carmilla asked me to be her girlfriend at the end of the date, and I remember that I couldn’t be any happier.

 

Sighing, I decided that was enough of memory lane and looked at the clock. I realized that I should probably be getting ready for work and got up from my bed. I made it into work with only a few minutes to spare and almost instantly LaF came into my office.

 

“I swear it’s like you don’t know how to knock anymore. It’s almost as bad as it was during our college years.” I said to them as I greeted them with a smile.

 

They just grinned and said, “I did learn to knock once you and Carmilla started dating though. After that one time I didn’t want to chance seeing that again. I saw a little too much skin for my liking.”

 

I laughed at that. “Well that’s good, maybe it taught you a lesson to always knock before entering someone’s bedroom, or room in general.”

 

They just smiled and sat down in a seat next to my desk. “So, have you heard from Carmilla anymore since yesterday?”

 

I shook my head no and said, “No I haven’t, why?”

 

LaF just shrugged their shoulders and said, “I don’t know, just curious I guess. I am glad though that the little get together went well. Maybe you two and Perry and I can all get together and hang out sometime, like the old days. Hell, maybe we can even get Kirsch and Danny to come with.”

 

“I know Kirsch would be up to hanging out, but I’m not sure about things with Danny.” I said a little sad.

 

They looked confused at that and then I suddenly remembered that I didn’t tell them about what happened with Danny and I. “And why exactly wouldn’t Danny come with? What happened between you two?”

 

I sighed and decided to fill them in with what happened. “And that’s what happened.”

 

“Holy shit! So are you two okay now?” LaF asked curiously.

 

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I sure hope so. I mean, I feel absolutely terrible about what happened that night. I don’t even know what came over me to even do that. But she did say we were good, but we both know that it doesn’t necessarily mean that.”

 

“Well, I haven’t seen Danny for a few days so I have no clue. I hope things aren’t too awkward between you guys though. I know how much you enjoy her friendship.”

 

I was about to respond when there was a soft knock on the door. Not really thinking much about it, I said, “Come on in!”

 

The door slowly opened and the person walked in. I looked up and was met with the same set of familiar brown eyes. My heart instantly fluttered and I looked down and saw that she was holding a cup of hot cocoa.

 

“Hey Laura…I hope it’s okay that I brought you this?” Carmilla said nervously.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the little longer wait on the update. I've been a little busy with life this week. But have no fear, I have a fresh new update for you! I would like to say a huge thank you for those of you who send kudos on this story or even comment on it. You guys really have no idea how much it means to me. Also, I would like to say that I am no song writer so I had to borrow a song for this chapter. It's called Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran and if you haven't heard it before, I strongly recommend that you do because it's amazing. So, I don't own any songs that I use in this chapter or future chapters. Anyway, I'll try not to make the next wait quite as long, but no promises. Thank you guys so much again! Enjoy! =)

** Chapter Seven **

“Hey Laura…I hope it’s okay that I brought you this?” Carmilla said nervously.

 

I stopped what I was doing and still looked at her in shock. _Holy shit…Carmilla is here…in my office…with a hot chocolate in her hands…okay Laura you got to calm down._ I felt LaF nudge me on the side and that got me to leave my thoughts.

 

I got up and walked over to the door and said, “Carmilla, hey. Come on in and grab a seat.”

 

LaF got up and said, “Hey Carmilla. I was actually getting ready to head back to work so you can take this seat. I’ll see you at lunch Laura.”

 

I watched as LaF left the room and shut the door. Carmilla and I both awkwardly looked at one another and then went to sit down. I placed the drink on my desk and looked over at my ex.

 

“I really hope that it was okay to bring you that at your work.” Carmilla said shyly.

 

I smiled and said, “It is definitely okay. Now I understand why you texted me that last night, you little ninja.”

 

She grinned and said, “I knew what your favorite drinks were, I just wanted to clarify so I didn’t get it wrong. I do have a reputation to keep up you know.” She winked which made me blush.

 

“Well, it was incredibly sweet so thank you. But how in the hell did you even get into the building?” I asked curiously.

 

“I have my ways. Thankfully the secretary up front is a nice person and let me slide on by.”

 

“Then you clearly aren’t talking about the same woman. Because I have worked here for a year now and she’s never been nice. Not to me anyway.” I then narrowed my eyes at her and said teasingly, “What did you do?”

 

She tried to look innocent, but I could see right through the act. “Me? Why would you think I would ever do something?”

 

“Because your name is Carmilla Karnstein and you tend to forget that I am the one person that knows you better than yourself. Now spill, what did you do?” I said teasingly.

 

“I may or may not have bribed her with my good looks.” She said cockily.

 

I rolled my eyes and said, “Well, you better not make that a habit. I don’t want to get fired or anything.”

 

She just smiled and said, “No promises cupcake.”

 

I smiled at the nickname and said softly, and more to myself. “Boy have I missed hearing that nickname over the years.”

 

Carmilla seemed to have heard it and said, “Well, I have missed saying it over the years.”

 

I turned to look over at her and said, “Wait, you don’t call anyone else those nicknames?”

 

She shakes her head no and says, “No, why would I call anyone else that?”

 

Shrugging my shoulders, I said, “I don’t know…I just figured you called everyone that.”

 

“Cutie, those nicknames are saved solely for you and you alone. If I called anyone else those names, it would feel weird.” Carmilla said, slowly sliding her hand on top of mine.

 

I blushed at the feeling of her hand on mine and was about to say something when LaF popped their head in the office. “Uh…not to interrupt the bonding moment that I’m sure you guys are having but uh…I need to warn you that Carmilla should probably leave soon because the boss man is slowly making his way up this way.”

 

They gave us a smile and then left the room. Carmilla slowly pulled away and stood up. “Well, I better head out before you get in trouble. Make sure you get a hold of me later to tell me how the hot chocolate is.”

 

She winked at me and left the room before I could speak. I let out a breath of air that I didn’t even realize I was holding. The rest of the month went kind of like that. Every day, Carmilla would find some reason to come to my office, whether it was to deliver a drink to me, food, or sometimes even flowers. The first time she brought me flowers made my heart beat so fast that I thought it was going to beat out of my chest. It wasn’t anything too extravagant, just a little simple bouquet of purple roses, which happened to be my favorite.

 

We have actually gotten a lot closer as well, and the group has welcomed her with open arms again. Her and Kirsch likes to joke around a lot, often times ganging up on me about my height. Danny is a little standoffish with her, but for good reason. Things have finally warmed up outside to the point where we can have cookouts and enjoy the sun. Which was where we were at the moment. I was currently sitting in a chair by myself, watching LaF try to explain to Carmilla how to shoot off a little toy rocket that they found at the store the other day. It was actually really cute watching Carmilla try to understand what they were saying. We all know from experience once LaF goes on a rant explaining anything scientific, it could last all day.

 

I was interrupted from my thoughts when I heard someone plop down next to me. I looked over and saw Kirsch was smiling back at me. “Hey L. You look like you’re concentrating on something super serious right now.” Before I could say anything, he pulled his sunglasses off of his face to squint his eyes at me for a second. “Wait a minute…I know that face…you’re totally thinking about how cute Carmilla is right now aren’t you?”

 

I blushed and said, “No, I’m not thinking about that. Why would I think about that Kirsch?”

 

He just grinned and said, “Because you totally have the hots for broody pants over there. It’s okay to admit it Laura, you know I won’t judge you.”

 

I sighed and turned so I could face him more. “Fine…I was thinking about how cute Carmilla looks right now. In fact, that’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past month.”

 

“Well, I mean, she was your first love Laura and you can’t replace that. And it doesn’t help that she’s come back into your life now and being sweet as ever. I mean, you two are practically inseparable now. She’s always looking at you with so much love and I can almost bet on the fact that she would do anything to keep you safe.” Kirsch said as he smiled at me still.

 

I turned to glance at Carmilla, who noticed me glancing over there and gave me a huge smile in return. I smiled back and turned to face Kirsch again. He was giving me his ‘I told you so’ look. “I know, you don’t have to remind me. I just…I can’t help but to love her more and more each day. She’s really changed over the years, for the better anyway. The little things she does for me makes me want to give her another chance…another chance at us.”

 

Our conversation was interrupted when Carmilla herself came walking over to us and soon plopped down on my lap with a grin. “Hey cutie, what are you two talking about over here?”

 

I blushed and said, “Oh nothing important really. I’m guessing you gave up on the whole rocket thing?”

 

She rolled her eyes and said, “That rocket is an embarrassment to rockets everywhere. I’m pretty sure that it wouldn’t know how to ignite itself if it had the chance to.”

 

“So basically you were too stubborn to actually listen to LaF tell you how to light it and gave up.” I said with a grin.

 

She just stuck her tongue out at me and smiled. After the burgers, mine being the only vegetarian one, we all sat around the fire pit that was in the backyard of Danny’s and we were each in our own separate groups talking. Carmilla and I were in one, LaF and Perry in another, and Danny and Kirsch in another. Surprisingly they have gotten along quite well compared to how they used to be in college. I honestly hope that something develops there because Danny really needs to be happy with someone.

 

I was brought out of my thoughts to Carmilla leaning over to whisper quietly in my ear. “Hey…do you want to go take a walk with me?”

 

She pulled away and looked me in the eyes and I instantly melted. I nodded my head yes and she smiled while getting up. She offered me her hand so I could get up easier. After walking away from the group, we still were holding hands and I could honestly feel my heart racing like crazy. I followed her along a path that led us further and further away from the others. After we found a clearing, she finally stopped and turned to look at me with a smile.

 

“So, what did you have in mind Carm?” I asked curiously.

 

She just smiled and sat down on the ground and patted the spot next to me. “I just thought we could lay down here and look up at the stars. Tonight is such a lovely night for it.”

 

I blushed and sat down next to her and said, “Not that I mind but out of curiosity, why did we have to come all the way out here? Couldn’t we have done this at Danny’s?”

 

She turned to grin at me and said, “Yeah, we could have but…maybe I just wanted you all to myself tonight?”

 

I blushed and laid down on the ground to look up at the stars. I soon heard Carmilla do the same and soon she was pointing out constellations to me, like we used to all those years ago. It’s been silent between us for a while now when she spoke softly.

 

“God I have missed this.”

 

I turned to look at her and saw that she was already looking at me. I smiled and said quietly, “I’ve missed this too Carm…a lot actually.”

 

She smiled that beautiful smile that I love so much and placed her hand on my cheek gently and brushed a piece of hair out of my face. She then whispered so quietly that I could barely hear her. “You are so beautiful Laura Hollis.”

 

I was about to respond when I saw that she was leaning in to kiss me. I felt my heart speed up and I closed my eyes to lean in as well. Our lips were about to touch when my phone went off, startling us both. We both pulled away and I would have sworn I heard Carm swear under her breath. I giggled and pulled my phone out to see it was a text from LaF.

 

**“Dude, where in the hell are you guys? I saw you leave like an hour ago and you never returned.”**

I looked over at Carmilla and saw that she was looking up at the stars again. Smiling, I turned back to my phone and said, **“Sorry, Carm and I went on a walk and we got distracted. We are on our way back now.”**

**“Oh…distracted with her lips on yours? ;)”**

I could feel myself blushing, but I tried to ignore it. **“No, you know I’m not ready for anything like that yet.”**

**“But you want to! Get your girl Hollis!”**

 

I chose to ignore it and turn back to Carmilla. “So, LaF just texted me and asked where we were. Apparently we’ve been gone for about an hour and I didn’t even know.”

 

She looked just as surprised as I was and slowly got up. She offered me her hand, which I took, and helped me up as well. “Well, I think it’s time I return you to your friends cutie. I’m sure Danny is wondering where you’ve wondered off to.”

 

“I don’t know why everyone thinks me and Danny are a thing. We are not a thing and we never will be.”

 

Carmilla didn’t say anything to that as we walked back to the group. I did see her smile a bunch at that fact though. Once we made it back, I noticed that Kirsch had left already and that Danny was heading inside.

 

“It’s about time you guys came back! We were getting worried that you were getting eaten alive by bears or something.” LaF said.

 

Perry just rolled her eyes and said, “Now LaFontaine, you know that there are no bears out in Danny’s woods. And I’m pretty sure they are both capable of taking care of themselves.”

 

They just shrugged their shoulders and said, “So, do you need a ride back to your house L? Because it’s really not a problem if you do.”

 

“Actually, is it okay if I take Laura home? I promise to bring her right home and to do it safely.” Carmilla said teasingly.

 

LaF just stuck their tongue out at Carmilla, which made her do the same back. She then turned to look at me for approval so I said, “I don’t mind Carm. Do you even know where I live though?”

 

She just smiled and said, “Nope, not a clue. But I’m sure I can figure it out.”

 

I just rolled my eyes and said goodbye to Perry and LaF before we went to her car. After telling Carmilla the directions, we set off towards my house, which wasn’t very far away from Danny’s to begin with. The car ride back was silent, but it wasn’t awkward or anything. We spent it mostly listening to whatever she had playing in her car. When we finally got to my house, she pulled in and shut the car off.

 

“So this is the famous house that you won’t stop talking about. I must say Cupcake, I’m very impressed.” Carmilla said as she was smiling over at me.

 

I just grinned and said, “Well, if you’re lucky enough, maybe you will get to see the inside of it sometime.”

 

She just grinned and got out and hurriedly got to my side to open my door. “Well, I hope to get lucky enough to see it sometime.”

 

I smiled and thanked her while getting out. We made it to my front door in a short amount of time and soon we were both leaning against it.

 

“So, I was wondering if you were busy tomorrow night?” Carmilla asked curiously.

 

I thought about it and figured out that I was indeed not busy tomorrow. Shaking my head I said, “Not that I know of anyway. Why do you ask?”

 

“Well, I actually am doing a show tomorrow night at a local club here in town. It’s called Gray’s. Anyway, it’s nothing too much, just a little open microphone type of thing but it would be amazing if you were to be there. You can even bring your friends if you would like. I can put them on the list and make sure you guys get in.” Carmilla asked nervously.

 

I smiled and said, “I would love to go. Just tell me what time to be there and I’ll be sure I’m there on time.”

 

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree at that. “Really??? I mean…um…that’s great! It starts at 8 and I’m the first performer to go up. I only get to sing like one, maybe two, songs but still.”

 

I smiled as well and said, “Well, I’m sure you will do great Carm. I’ve always loved your singing voice and I know you’re really talented when it comes to instruments too.”

 

She blushed and said, “I’ve always loved that you support me with everything I do. I really have missed you Laura. Now, I better let you get inside before you freeze to death or something.”

 

I smiled and gave her a hug goodbye. Just like our usual hugs, they lasted a lot longer than a typical friend hug would. When Carmilla pulled away, I felt her kiss me on the cheek and she was soon heading to her car. I smiled and got inside the house and I felt myself squeal once the door was closed. _I swear I’m acting like a young college student again._

 

The next day came quickly, and after texting everyone about the plans tonight, they all agreed to come. LaF and Perry were going to pick me up and Danny and Kirsch were going to go together and meet up with us there. It was now six-thirty and my friends were to be at my house very shortly. While I was getting ready though, I felt my phone vibrate. Thinking it was LaF or Perry, I picked it up to see what they want. I started smiling even more when I saw that it was Carmilla instead.

 

**“So, I’m really hoping you’re coming tonight…and that your friends are coming too. I mean…it would really suck if you weren’t there…and your friends…if you and your friends weren’t there. Shut up I’m nervous.”**

I giggled at the text because I could clearly see she was a nervous wreck. **“Hush, you will be fine Carm. This is like, your element. And of course I’ll be there! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!”**

 

I finished getting ready and walked downstairs to wait for the gang to come. I decided on wearing a short black dress that stopped mid thigh and showed quite a bit of cleavage than normal. Okay…I may be trying to impress her again, but can you blame me? Before I knew it, there was a knock on my door and soon the three of us were waiting in line to get in.

 

“So, I must say you look quite hot tonight Hollis.” LaF said. I saw Perry elbow them in the side and they just shrugged and said, “What? It’s true.”

 

Perry just rolled her eyes and said, “It may be true LaFontaine, but you could have said it a little differently.”

 

They just grinned and rolled their eyes while saying, “So anyway, is there a certain broody rocker chick that you’re trying to impress or something? Or is it for Danny?”

 

I just rolled my eyes and said, “I still don’t see why everyone thinks me and Danny are a thing. I was just telling this to Carmilla last night.”

 

“So it _is_ Carmilla that you’re trying to impress. You do know that she is head over heels in love with you right? You really don’t need to do much to impress her. I’m pretty sure you could show up in your birthday suit and she would be fine with it.” LaF said with a grin.

 

“LaFontaine! Behave!” Perry said very sternly.

 

I just laughed at the two of them and we were soon going up to the bouncer. When he asked for our names I said, “There should be a reservation for five of us. I’m not sure if the other two are already in there or will be coming. But, it should be under Laura Hollis, LaFontaine, and Lola Perry. We are with Carmilla Karnstein.”

 

The bouncer nodded his head and looked at his clipboard. He then checked us off and gave us a smile. “Go on in ladies. Enjoy the show tonight.”

 

I smiled at him and walked inside. The club itself was packed with people. Gray’s is a very popular club, mainly to the LGBT community, but still pretty popular. We soon got a drink and made our way through the club towards the stage. We soon saw Danny and Kirsch and once they saw us, they waved us over to the front of the stage.

 

“Hey guys! Wow Laura you look…amazing.” Danny said, fully checking me out.

 

“Yeah Laura, you look like a little hottie tonight.” Kirsch said with a grin.

 

I blushed and said, “Thanks guys. You guys don’t look too bad yourselves.”

 

We were soon interrupted by someone walking over to the microphone and tapping on it a few times to get our attention. The club soon quieted down, well as much as a packed club can anyway, and the person started talking.

 

“Hello club Gray! How are you guys feeling tonight?” A chorus of yells and hollers could be heard through out the club, which made the person smile. “That’s great! I’m sure you guys are ready to get this started. Now, we have a whole bunch of talented people playing here tonight. So let’s give a huge warm welcome to our first singer, Carmilla Karnstein!”

 

The crowd hollered again, our group being the loudest, and soon I was met with Carmilla walking out on stage. My jaw dropped instantly when I saw what she was wearing. She was wearing her tightest of tight black leather pants and a very revealing black corset. Her hair was no longer straight, and instead back to her natural curls that I was used to seeing long ago. She looked around at the club and soon met my eyes. She smiled instantly and winked at me, making me blush.

 

“Hey guys!” There was another roar of the crowd, which made her laugh. I could tell she was in her element tonight. “So, I’m only allowed to sing two songs tonight so I’m going to start it off with an original. I would like to dedicate this song to a very special someone who is in the crowd tonight. So, here is Thinking Out Loud.”

 

The lights dimmed and there was soon a soft beat of a guitar, which she was playing, and a drum.

 

_“When your legs don’t work like they used to before_

_And I can’t sweep you off of your feet_

_Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love_

_Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks”_

 

She then started making direct eye contact and she wouldn’t look away, which made me start to blush a lot.

 

_“Darlin I, will be lovin’ you_

_Till we’re seventy_

_And baby my heart_

_Could still feel as hard at twenty three_

_And I’m thinking about how_

_People fall in love in mysterious ways_

_Maybe just the touch of a hand_

_Well me I fall in love with you every single day_

_And I just wanna tell you I am”_

 

I could tell there was a hidden message in the song she was singing so far, and I honestly didn’t know how I felt about it. I soon felt tears form in the corner of my eyes, but I forced myself to listen to the song. By now, the song was in full swing.

 

_“So honey now_

_Take me into your lovin arms_

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

_Place your head on my beating heart_

_I’m thinking out loud_

_Maybe we found love_

_Right where we are”_

By now I was thinking of the past and how in love we were with one another. I felt my heart beat faster, and not in the good way either. Kirsch turned to look at me and I felt him nudge me on the side gently. He then mouthed, “Are you okay?” I just nodded my head yes and faced Carmilla again, who went back to making eye contact with me.

 

_“When my hairs all but gone_

_And my memory fades_

_And the crowds don’t remember my name_

_When my hands don’t play the strings the same way_

_I know you will still love me the same_

_Oh honey your soul_

_Could never grow old_

_It’s evergreen_

_And baby your smiles_

_Forever in my mind and memory_

_I’m thinking about how_

_People fall in love in mysterious ways_

_And maybe it’s all part of a plan_

_I’ll just keep on making the same mistakes_

_Hoping that you’ll understand”_

By now I could see that Carmilla had tears in her eyes, but surprisingly her voice never faltered once. My tears were streaming down my face by now and I could feel Kirsch place his arm around my waist protectively, as if trying to take away the pain.

 

_“That baby now_

_Take me into your lovin’ arms_

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

_Place your head on my beating heart_

_Thinking out loud_

_Baby we found love_

_Right where we are”_

She then looked me right in the eyes as she started to sing the very end of the song. It was taking everything in me to not go and run, and to be honest…I was close to doing it.

 

_“Baby now_

_Take me into your lovin’ arms_

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

_Oh darling_

_Place your head on my beating heart_

_Thinking out loud_

_Baby we found love right where we are_

_Baby we found love right where we are”_

 

The music slowly died down and the crowd roared in applause and hollers. Carmilla wiped at her eyes and smiled at everyone while thanking them. I was a complete mess. By now I was full on crying and on the verge of a breakdown. I soon pulled away from Kirsch, who looked worried. I told him that I would be back and started to leave from my spot. I met Carmilla’s eyes, who also seemed worried, and shook my head no while mouthing to her, “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

 

I quickly left the building and as soon as I did, I felt myself collapsing on the ground and started to cry harder than I ever had.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Once again, I'm sorry for the little bit of the wait in between chapters. I'm trying so hard to get time to update more than once a week, but it's almost impossible for me because of school, work, and my girlfriend taking up my free time as well. But I do promise I try my best to update as soon as possible and that it will always be at least one update a week, unless something major happens. Anyway, thank you guys so much for all of the amazing support you have shown for this story. It really means a lot to me. =) Anyway, I think you guys will like this chapter a little bit more than the others. And I promise that things will get a little fluffier as each chapter is posted and not all this dramatic stuff. I just have to work towards it is all =P Anyway, here's the next chapter for you guys. Enjoy!

** Chapter Eight **

I’m not sure how long I was outside of the club crying, but I do know that it was long enough to get many texts and calls from my friends and Carmilla, most likely worrying where I was at. Thankfully I managed to drop down on the ground undetected so they were not able to find me. I heard movement next to me and soon felt a pair of arms wrap cautiously around me, making me jerk back.

 

“Woah, calm down there sweetheart. I’m only making sure you’re okay.” The girl said calmly.

 

I looked up and saw a girl that I have never seen before sitting next to me. She had blonde hair that stopped at her shoulders. She looked at me with a soft smile and then pulled a tissue out from her purse, offering it to me.

 

I slowly took it and wiped at my eyes and said softly, “Thanks…”

 

She gave me another small smile and said, “Hey, it’s no problem. But really, are you okay? Because you’ve been crying for a good solid half hour back here. At first, I thought it was a cat or something but when it continued on, I figured I should check to see what was happening.”

 

I blushed and said quietly, “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to interrupt your night. I will just go.”

 

As I went to get up, I felt her hand grab my wrist gently to stop me. As she got up she said, “Hey, you don’t have to leave on my account. I was really just kidding about the whole cat thing. I try to think I’m funny but often times I just make things worse. But really though…if you need someone to talk to I have been told I’m a great listener. I know we don’t know each other but I know how it feels to be down and out and be alone.”

 

I smiled a little at her and said, “It’s really nothing too major. I don’t want to put my problems on you.”

 

“Hey, I really don’t mind, honest. Tell you what, why don’t we go to the diner that is just down the street and you can tell me what’s up, yeah?” The girl said while nudging her head towards the direction of the diner.

 

I smiled and said, “I would but…I don’t even know your name. If I’m going to be telling someone my problems, I at least need to know a name first.”

 

She smiled and bowed a little while saying playfully, “Dr. Elsie at your service ma’am, but most people tend to leave off the Dr. part.”

 

I giggled for the first time that night and said teasingly, “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you _Dr._ Elsie. My name is Laura.”

 

She grinned and started walking backwards towards the diner. “Well, now that we got the introductions out of the way, let’s go to the diner I’m _starving_!”

 

I giggled and followed her to the diner, which thankfully wasn’t very far away. I may not know much about this random girl, but I do have to say she can easily make a person feel better by talking to them.

 

We are now currently sitting in a booth in the back eating burgers, or more like she’s eating a burger and fries and I’m just eating fries. “So, you said that it was a long story…so where do you want to start? Like I said earlier, I’m an extremely good listener and I have all night if we need it.”

 

I rolled my eyes playfully and said, “Geez, you get straight to the point don’t you?”

 

She just grinned and said with a mouth full of fries, “Yes, now get on it with woman!”

 

I giggled and threw a fry at her, which she just picked up and ate with a grin. I started off telling her about my ex and all of the history between the both of us. I practically told her everything and soon led up to what happened tonight.

 

“Wait…your ex girlfriend was the insanely hot girl on the stage who played first??” Elsie said in surprise.

 

I nodded my head yes and said, “Yep, that would be the one and only Carmilla Karnstein.”

 

“But wait…that song was practically for you…so why did you run out in tears? Any girl would be insanely lucky to have someone like her dedicate a song to them…no offense or anything.” Elsie said while looking up at me sympathetically.

 

I smiled and said, “It’s really okay. And honestly, I don’t know why I ran out. I guess something inside me just clicked that said to just run away. I mean, I love her and every time it’s just me and her alone…my heart does this crazy thing and practically stops.”

 

Elsie fake gagged, which made me throw a fry at her and say, “I’m serious!” She just laughed and ate that fry again and said, “Well…it sounds like you still have feelings for her. Are you _in_ love with her?”

 

“Yeah but…”

 

“No, are you _in love with her_? Can you see you two together?” Elsie asked.

 

I thought about it and shook my head yes. “Yes, I’m in love with her. God Elsie…I’m so in love with her it’s insane.”

 

“Then what is so hard to go after what you want? It’s painfully obvious how much you want her and I haven’t even seen you two together yet.” Elsie said as she took another bite of her burger.

 

I sighed softly and said, “I don’t know…I guess every time I think we are moving closer my mind just goes back to college and how much she broke my heart. I know she’s changed so much since then, but I just can’t help it.”

 

“And that’s completely understandable Laura. I’m just saying that you should just take it slowly with her, and most importantly: talk to her about how you feel. Communication is the best thing for anyone. Hell, it can make or break any relationship.” Elsie said.

 

We ended up talking in the diner for a few more hours. I found out that she went to school for social work, which explains her excellent way of giving advice. By the end of the night, we ended up swapping numbers with one another and we were soon going our separate ways. When I arrived home, I saw that I had several missed calls and texts, mostly from Carmilla.

 

**Kirsch: “Laura! I’m not sure what happened tonight but please let me know that you’re all right! All of us are worried sick about you.”**

**“But really L, I haven’t heard from you yet and it’s been a few hours since you disappeared. Please call or text one of us so we know you aren’t out on the streets somewhere.”**

**LaF: “Hey! What the hell happened? Kirsch said you were starting to cry and freak out and he said next thing he knew you were gone after the song. We are all worried so text us or something.”**

**Danny: “Hey Laura, I’m not sure what happened but I really hope you are okay. Just know that I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I hope you’re not out on the streets of New York…you know I worry about you. Stay safe and make good choices.”**

**Carmilla: “Hey…I’m not sure what happened tonight during the song but can we talk about it? Please?”**

**“Laura, I’m sorry okay? That was a shit move of me to do tonight and I know I shouldn’t have done that song. Just talk to me.”**

**“Laura I’m getting worried. I asked Kirsch and LaF and the rest of the ginger gang but they all have said that none of them know where you’re at. Please…just call me back or something. I’m worried you’re out there getting murdered or something.”**

**“Okay…I know you’re just going to ignore me and that’s understandable. I am incredibly sorry about what happened tonight. But I don’t regret singing it to you Laura. I wrote that song a couple months ago and it tells you about my feelings. I still love you Laura Hollis and I hope some day we can move on past that point and at least be close again. Please call me when you’re ready okay? I love you.”**

I sighed and plopped down on my bed, not knowing what to do. A part of me wants to talk to Carmilla, but the other part wants to ignore her for just a while longer. I ended up texting everyone back, minus Carmilla, and saying that I made it home safely. I got almost immediate responses from all of them. Kirsch and Danny both asking if I needed them to come over for the night, but I told them that I would be fine. LaF told me that they were glad I finally responded, saying that Perry could finally stop pacing the living room and staring at the phone.

 

It’s been at least two weeks since that night happened and I still have ignored Carmilla. It’s not like I’m still upset with her, I just don’t know how to start the conversation. Elsie and I have gotten a lot closer though, and the group has taken a liking to her. Danny and Kirsch has also gotten suspiciously closer to one another, and LaF, Elsie, and I all have bets on when they spill the beans to the rest of us. Perry doesn’t like that we have bets placed on this, mostly she just scolds us, but she has learned to just accept it and stay quiet about the situation.

 

It was a sunny and warm spring afternoon and all of us were over at Danny’s. We decided that we could just all hang outside. Currently, LaF was messing with their latest biology project with Perry next to them being all protective like always. Elsie, Kirsch, Danny, and I were sitting in a small circle talking about random things when the back gate opened. We all stopped talking and looked up to see Carmilla walking over to us. I felt my heart stop and instantly felt nervous. Elsie must have noticed my change in mood because she soon laid her hand on top of mine and squeezed gently.

 

“Hey Carmilla! I’m glad you could make it!” Danny said while waving her over.

 

I instantly turned to look at Danny and whispered yelled, “What?? You _invited_ Carmilla over??”

 

She tried to look innocent as she said, “What? I didn’t see the problem of it. And besides, you two need to figure out what the hell is going on before you drive all of us insane!”

 

I couldn’t say anything else because Carmilla walked over and stood near me. “Hey guys…hey Laura and…Laura’s friend? Who are you?”

 

She was looking down at Elsie, who was still holding my hand. I would have sworn I saw a little bit of jealousy wash over her features. Elsie seemed to ignore it though and let go of my hand to offer hers to Carmilla. “Hello, I’m Elsie! And you must be the famous Carmilla Karnstein.”

 

She just rolled her eyes and ignored Elsie’s hand and said in a very jealous tone, “Must I be? Anyway, Laura could we possibly talk in private?”

 

I smiled apologetically at Elsie, who seemed to brush it off and smiled back at me. She then nudged me encouragingly and smiled at me even more. I just rolled my eyes at her and turned to Carmilla and nodded my head yes. “Sure, I suppose we can. I’ll be back guys.”

 

Carmilla just offered me her hand to help me up. Once I stood up, she didn’t seem to let go of it and she actually seemed to be giving Elsie her famous smirk that I have grown to know. We ended up walking along the same trail we took that one night a few weeks ago. Once we were a good enough distance away from the others, we stopped and turned to look at each other.

 

“I’m sorry.” We both managed to say at once. We both smiled and giggled some and she nodded her head towards me and said, “Go ahead and speak first Cupcake.”

 

I blushed and said, “I’m sorry for basically bailing out on you the other night. I don’t know what happened but something in me just freaked and I had to get out of there. I shouldn’t have ignored you for this long but I honestly couldn’t find a way to start this conversation.”

 

“Oh there’s a conversation that comes with this, that means it must be serious. But before we have that conversation I want to apologize for the other night. That was such an asshole move of me to do and I shouldn’t have sung that song. I thought…I thought that maybe if I sung it to you…you would realize how strong my feelings for you were and how badly I want to try with you. But…once I saw your reaction halfway through, I felt instantly guilty. Laura, the last thing I ever want to do is cause you heartbreak. I want nothing but the best for you and I want to be the one who gives you that happiness. I am really sorry for how that night ended Laura.” Carmilla said while looking at me sincerely.

 

“No, I shouldn’t have acted that way Carm…but there’s something I want to talk to you about.” I said as I looked back at her.

 

She instantly looked upset and said, “I know…I waited too long and now you have a new girlfriend named Elsie…I knew I waited too long to get ahold of you. You will always be the one that got away Laura and I will never forgive myself for letting you go so easily.”

 

I rolled my eyes at her and looked her in the eyes and said, “Will you give that whole broodiness a rest already? One, I don’t have a girlfriend and even if I did, it wouldn’t be Elsie. She is just a friend that I met a few weeks ago, actually she helped me realize a lot of things that night to be honest. Which leads to what I want to talk to you about. I realized that…I still have very strong feelings for you Carmilla and for some reason, even after three years of not seeing or speaking to one another, I can’t let them go. What I am saying is, I want to give us a shot. At least start off as friends and see where it leads. And if it leads to us dating again, I want to do things slowly and not rush like we did back in college.”

 

I was interrupted by Carmilla pulling me into a huge hug and her saying, “Yes, yes I would love that Cupcake. You have no idea how much I would love that. I just want you to promise me one thing okay?”

 

We pulled away from one another and I said quietly, “Anything Carm.”

 

She smiled at the nickname and said, “Just promise me you will let me treat you how you deserve to be treated. Let me take you out randomly and spoil you. Just promise me this one thing…please?”

 

I looked her in the eyes and said with a smile, “I promise.”


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know I keep saying that I'll update sooner, but it seems like life just likes to throw random crap at me. I have been extremely busy with classes and trying to set up stuff for my field placement for school next year. But, I finally was able to update again. Also, quick question: I was thinking about having the next chapter as part of a Carmilla point of view. Would you guys be interested in that? If so, I'll definitely do it...and if not then that's fine I'll refrain from doing so. Anyway, this chapter is kind of a filler chapter. I promise I will try to not let life take over as often so I can actually update once a week. Thank you guys so much for your support! I still get emails every day saying that I have more kudos and that makes me so insanely happy. It is really awesome seeing a lot of people like my story and support it and it keeps me motivated to continue writing. So anyway, here's the next chapter for you guys. Enjoy! =)

** Chapter Nine **

The next day I agreed to hang out with Elsie and Danny, which surprisingly wasn’t awkward like I thought it would be. Danny has surprisingly been kinder to Carmilla, mainly because I think she has been distracted by another certain puppy-like individual. But, that’s not point of this situation. The point is that the both of them has decided on teaming up together and interrogating me on what happened last night between Carmilla and I.

 

“For the last time, no we didn’t do anything besides talk to each other.” I said, blowing out a puff of air annoyed.

 

“Oh come on L! You have to give us a little more detail! I’m pretty positive she didn’t bring you all the way out there just to talk about the weather.” Elsie said with a grin.

 

I grinned back at her and said sarcastically, “I don’t know Elsie, Carmilla can get pretty philosophical about the weather at times. We’ve had some pretty interesting conversations in college late at night.”

 

“Yeah those conversations involving tongues and lips maybe.” Elsie said while grinning even more.

 

I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at her playfully, which she just caught with a grin. Danny rolled her eyes and said, “Okay you two, that’s enough. You should probably leave the whole acting like a three year old thing to Kirsch.”

 

It was my turn to roll my eyes as I turned to Danny. “Speaking of, what’s going on between you two anyway?”

 

“What do you mean? Nothing is going on Laura.” Danny said, trying to act innocent.

 

This seemed to spark Elsie’s interest because she quickly jumped into the conversation. “Wait…what’s going on with the giant here and puppy dog?”

 

I grinned at the nicknames, which made Danny frown a little. “Well Elsie, it seems like Danny and Kirsch like to play this game called ‘hating one another in front of others but secretly like each other being closed doors’ which by the way, is totally noticeable Lawrence.”

 

Danny just blushed and said, “I don’t know what you are talking about Hollis. There is seriously nothing going on between Kirsch and I. And besides, aren’t we here to talk about you and little miss broody Karnstein?”

 

“Yeah! You keep trying to distract us from the real reason why we are even here Laura! Now get to talking Hollis!” Elsie said, agreeing with Danny who had a smirk on her face.

 

I fake glared at them both and addressed Danny. “This isn’t over Lawrence. I _will_ get to the bottom of this at some point.”

 

She just grinned and said, “And that point is not today. Now, what did you and Carmilla talk about last night?”

 

“Well, if you guys _must_ know…we both talked about the night that she went on stage and sung. I started off by apologizing for how I reacted that night and then she went on and apologized for being an ass. She really felt bad about making me react like that and she honestly thought that I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did, otherwise she wouldn’t have sung it.” I said.

 

“I’m sure that wasn’t all. I mean, when you both came back to the group you were both all smiles and she seemed to be a lot closer to you afterwards.” Danny said.

 

“Yeah, and she kept glaring at me for some reason. I’m still trying to figure that one out.” Elsie said curiously.

 

“Yeah…she may or may not have thought that you were my girlfriend when she first met you. That’s why she was kind of glaring at you intensely at first. The first thing you need to learn about Carm is that she can be a very jealous person.” I said while giggling a little.

 

Elsie made a disgusted face and said playfully, “Wait…she thought we were dating? I’m sorry but that’s disturbing.” I then made a hurt face, which made her instantly start explaining. “Not that it would be a bad thing to date you Laura! You are a very attractive woman, just not my type. And besides, we work way better as friends anyway.”

 

I giggled and said, “Nice save there.”

 

“Okay, enough of the bantering back and forth. What else did you guys talk about Laura?” Danny said, trying to get to the point.

 

I then blushed and said, “Well…I think we both decided to kind of give us another shot? I’m not sure really.”

 

Danny instantly smiled and gave me a hug, followed by Elsie who ended up squealing in my ear. “This is so exciting Laura!!” She said, squealing once again.

 

I winced and pulled away, which she just gave me an apologetic look. Danny looked at me and said, “That really is great L. But, how do you not know for sure if you guys are giving it another shot?”

 

I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Well, when we talked about it last night, we decided to start off as friends and see where it takes off. She just made me promise to allow her to ‘treat me how I deserve and be able to spoil me’ is basically what Carmilla said anyway.”

 

Danny then grinned and said, “Well, it obviously sounds like she wants to prove herself to you Laura. But you can’t go off and run away when things get serious though, you do know that right?”

 

I nodded my head and said, “Of course. I gave myself a pep talk last night and I made myself promise that I wouldn’t give up this time. I’m willing to fight for it and actually try again.”

 

“Okay good because I don’t think I can handle hearing you sound like a dying cat out in an ally way again.” Elsie said while grinning.

 

I threw the pillow at her again which made her crack up. The girls stayed for a little while longer until they both decided that they needed to head home. It was now around six in the evening and I sat bored in the living room. I soon felt my phone go off and saw that it was Carmilla texting me, which made me smile.

 

**Carmilla: “So, how was hanging out with the girls today?”**

**Me: “It was pretty good. We even managed to talk about you ;)”**

**Carmilla: “Oh yeah? Hopefully all good things.”**

**Me: “More like how you gave Elsie the death glare last night, which by the way you need to apologize for.”**

I then got up and decided to work on some editorials for work the next day. Grabbing my phone, I went into the office and plopped down at my desk. I was about to start reading when my phone went off again.

 

**Carmilla: “Do I have to? Apologizing to people you’re jealous of is no fun =(“**

_Wait…she was jealous of her? That’s new._ I grabbed my phone and texted back.

 

**Me: “Wait…you were jealous of her? Why?”**

 

**Carmilla: “Of course I was jealous Cupcake.”**

**“But…I suppose I can play nice with others and apologize. But only for you cutie.”**

I smiled and sent her a thank you text. I got about an hours worth of reading in when my phone vibrated again.

 

**Carmilla: “Is it okay if I came over? I’m incredibly bored and I miss you.”**

 

I smiled and put my articles down on my desk and grabbed my phone to respond.

 

**Me: “Hm…I suppose you can. I need a break from reading these articles anyway.”**

 

I then heard a knocking on my door. Putting my phone down on the desk, I got up and went to the door, wondering who it was. When I opened the door, I instantly smiled because I was greeted by Carmilla herself. She was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans with the knees torn a little, a black tank top, and then a red flannel over it. She beamed at me once she made eye contact.

 

“Well, it’s a good thing that you said I could come over huh?” Carmilla said as she stood in front of me smiling still.

 

I just rolled my eyes playfully and said, “How long have you been standing here anyway Carm?”

 

She pretended to think and then said, “Only for a few minutes. I’m sorry I kind of came over unannounced. I just got extremely bored and thought we could have like a movie night or something. I even brought grape soda and cookies for us.”

 

She then lifted up said items and grinned at me, which only made me smile and laugh. I then moved out of the way to let her inside. “Well, now that you brought goodies, I can’t let them go to waste. So, hurry your ass inside before I change my mind.” I said playfully.

 

She only rolled her eyes and walked inside the house. Once I shut the door, I was instantly welcomed to a pair of warm and loving arms. I smiled and relaxed in Carmilla’s arms as we hugged. Sadly, it ended a lot sooner than either of us was wanting and she pulled away.

 

“Sorry, I just wanted to hug you.” Carmilla said, extremely close to my face.

 

I smiled and said softly, “You don’t have to apologize for hugging me Carm. We both know that I love your hugs.”

 

She grinned and placed her hand on my cheek gently. I felt her fingers begin to trace along my skin lightly as she said, “And I love…” I could tell she was hesitant on finishing her sentence and that she was having an inner battle with herself. She then cleared her throat and smiled genuinely and said, “And I love your hugs too Cupcake. Now, let’s go watch a movie.”

 

We both pulled away and went over to the living room. We decided to put in the new Mockingjay movie and were now sitting on the couch. At first, we began sitting next to each other, but with some space in between. As the movie continued though, we gradually moved closer until both of our legs were touching.

 

It was halfway through the movie when I heard Carmilla fake cough and slowly place her arm around my shoulders. I turned to her and laughed, which she just looked at me confused.

 

“Did you just pull the whole fake cough maneuver on me Karnstein?” I asked while laughing still.

 

She just blushed and said, “Maybe, what’s it to you?”

 

I just smiled and rolled my eyes while cuddling into her and said, “You know, you don’t have to find sneaky ways to hold me. If you want to cuddle, all you have to do is just ask. I won’t let it ‘ruin’ your reputation.”

 

She didn’t say anything, but I could practically feel her smiling against my head as she pulled me closer. We watched a few other movies that night and I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up with a finger being placed barely up my nose, successfully waking me up.

 

I jumped from the feeling of her finger, which earned me a laugh from her. Turning to glare at her I said, “Why did you just put your finger up my nose??”

 

Carmilla was still laughing as she said, “I swear I had been calling your name for like ten minutes. You are a deeper sleeper than I thought Cupcake. By the way, you fell asleep during the last movie. I think that is a sign for me to head home so you can go to sleep.”

 

As she was getting up to stretch and gather her things, I grabbed her wrist gently, which instantly grabbed her attention.

 

“Um hey Carm?” I asked quietly.

 

She turned and looked at me and said, “Yeah Cupcake?”

 

I blushed and looked down for a minute and then looked back up. _Why am I so nervous? You know it won’t be awkward. Girl the hell up Hollis._ “Um…do you think you could uh…could stay the night with me? I mean…it gets really quiet here at night and a lot of times it kind of freaks me out.”

 

She smiled instantly and sat back down next to me on the couch. I was soon pulled into her arms as she said, “Cupcake, you don’t have to be embarrassed to ask me to stay. If you really want me to stay the night, I’ll stay.”

 

My face lit up as I pulled away to look at her. “Really? Do you think we could uh…share a bed? The guest bedroom is all the way on the opposite side of the house and the couch can be extremely uncomfortable to sleep on at night.”

 

She smiled once again and said, “Of course cutie. And I promise to behave. But, I’ll stay on one occasion.”

 

Curiosity got the best of me and I couldn’t help but ask what. She just smiled and said, “Only if you agree to let me take you out on a date tomorrow. As in an official date.”

 

I blushed and smiled and I soon felt me nodding my head yes. “I would love to go on a date with you Carm.”

 

She smiled a bunch and pulled me in for another hug. As we pulled away, I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek softly and said, “Come on, let’s head to bed. I’m having the hardest time keeping my eyes open.”


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know, I know I suck for not updating for like two weeks. Last week was my 21st birthday so I basically spent a whole week/weekend celebrating it. But in my defense, I DID actually work on this story for a little bit throughout the week. So, no one really told me their opinions on having a full chapter with just Carmilla's point of view, so I only did it for a small portion of the chapter. But I promise I won't switch point of views very often and if I do, I'll make sure things won't get confused. Also, if any of you would like to follow me on my two social media sites that I use frequently, please feel free to. My twitter name is dani_c_18 and my tumblr name is hellomynameisdanielle17 I will follow back anyone who does. I do post a lot of stuff about Carmilla and the cast in general on my tumblr, along with other random things as well. Anyway, this note is getting a little long so I will let you guys get to reading. So here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

** Chapter Ten **

** Carmilla’s POV **

I woke up the next morning in a room that I wasn’t familiar with. Cracking my eyes open, I looked around and could see bright colors and newspaper articles spread all over the walls. It took me a minute to realize that I was at Laura’s house. I then woke up fully when I remembered her. Looking to my left, I could see Laura cuddled into me, holding onto my waist tightly. Smiling to myself, I couldn’t help but look at the woman that I am hopelessly in love with. When I first connected with her again after all these years I honestly thought she would never give me the time of day. I think I have LaF and Danny to thank for that. Because of them, they convinced Laura that she should give me another chance and I will always be grateful for that. I couldn’t help but laugh a little at thinking about that. Years ago Danny and I would never be caught dead getting along. I think it was because the ginger giant always had a little thing for Laura.

 

In fact, just thinking about how things were three years ago is pretty crazy. Back in college I could never get myself to get along with the ginger trio that always seemed to follow Laura around. Thinking about it, I couldn’t stand anyone besides Laura. After she let me come back into her life, I made a promise to myself that I would become a better person. That means even standing up to the one person that absolutely terrifies me. My mother doesn’t know that I came back to New York, let alone come back to be with the one person she forbids me to be with in the first place. And I plan to keep it that way for as long as I can.

 

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt movement on my side. I looked back over to Laura and saw that she had her eyes cracked open tiredly. When we made eye contact, she greeted me with a warm smile, giving me instant butterflies.

 

“Carm…you’re still here. I had a dream that I woke up and you were completely gone. I got really worried.” Laura said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

 

My heart broke a little hearing how pained she was and I just knew it was a memory from what happened three years ago. I instantly pulled her into my arms and said, “Laura, I promise you that I will never leave you like that again. I’m still here Cupcake and I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

 

She nodded her head and I could tell she was thinking of something. I pulled her closer and asked softly, “What are you thinking about cutie? I can practically hear those gears turning in your head.”

 

She smiled a little and looked back up at me and said, “What if…what if your mom tries to interfere again? What happens then? What happens…to us?”

 

“Cupcake, I will _never_ let that happen again. Yes, my mother terrifies me to no end, but I swear to you that I am not letting her interfere with my happiness again. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe Laura, I swear on my grave.” I said as I looked into her eyes.

 

We had a silent stare down for a few minutes and then she smiled at me and leaned in to kiss my cheek softly. I felt myself blushing and it was then I realized how close our faces were to one another. I looked down at Laura’s lips and saw that she was biting her bottom lip, making me feel weak at the knees. I started to lean in slowly and she did as well. Our lips grazed one another and I was about to connect them when I heard Laura’s stomach growl because of hunger. I pulled away and laughed as I saw her blushing.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how hungry I was until just now.” Laura said embarrassingly.

 

I smiled and got up from the bed and offered to help her up. She smiled and took my hand as I said, “Well come on cutie, can’t have you starving and dying on me. Let’s go get something to eat.”

 

** Laura’s POV **

Waking up in Carmilla’s arms was one of the best ways to wake up. There’s just something about the feeling of her strong arms around me that just makes me feel safe. It made me miss back in college when we would fall asleep cuddled together in one of our beds.

 

We finished eating breakfast and I was now walking Carmilla to the door. She leaned against it and smiled at me. Out of curiosity I asked, “What are you looking at Carm?”

 

She just smiled and shook her head while saying, “Oh it’s nothing Cupcake. I better head out though if I want to be ready for tonight.”

 

We both smiled at this. “What time should I be ready?”

 

“I’m coming here at seven so you better be ready no matter what. Because I’ll be dragging you out of here whether you are ready or not.” Carmilla said teasingly.

 

I just rolled my eyes and pulled her in for a quick hug, which of course wasn’t quick at all. While pulling away, I kissed her cheek softly and I saw her instantly start to blush. “Oh whatever Carm. You know you would wait for me no matter how long it takes. Now get out of here before _you’re_ late to picking me up.”

 

She just grinned and said, “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a pretty face. I’ll see you at seven Cupcake.”

 

After Carmilla left, I instantly started getting ready. I knew if I didn’t then I would never be ready in time. After taking a shower, I decided to wear a pair of nice black jeans and one of my favorite blue flannels. I’m only dressing like this because Carm mentioned earlier to dress casual and warm for our date tonight. I managed to get ready with about an hour or so to spare, which made me feel relieved instantly. I decided to pull my phone out and text LaF while waiting.

 

**Me: “So, I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of nervous for tonight.”**

**LaF: “Why are you nervous Hollis? It’s not like this is your first date with her! And it helps that you know her feelings for you. I mean come on, it’s pretty obvious how crazy that woman is for you.”**

**Me: “I know…but what if something happens tonight? Like, what if we kiss or something? It’s been so long I feel like I won’t know how to kiss her.”**

I could almost picture LaF’s eye roll that they do every time I say something “ridiculous.”

 

**LaF: “L, I swear you will be fine. Just be yourself and whatever happens, happens. Just let the night play out and I’m sure if something happens where you aren’t comfortable with it then Carmilla will respect that. Just have fun okay? Now, I’m going to leave you be so you don’t psych yourself out any more. Have fun and be careful. Tell me what happens tomorrow or when I see you at work.”**

 

I sighed and sent them a goodbye text. I looked at my phone and saw that it was almost seven. Sighing, I went to my room to grab my things so I would for sure be ready when she got here. At seven on the dot, I heard a knock on my door. I tried not to seem too eager going to the door, but I couldn’t help myself. When I opened it, the beautiful sight that is Carmilla greeted me with a smile.

 

“Wow Cupcake…I know I told you to dress casual but…you look gorgeous.” Carmilla said with a smile. I could see that she was hiding something behind her back.

 

I allowed myself to check Carmilla out ever so slowly. She was wearing her signature leather pants with the black combat boots. For a shirt she decided on wearing a similar outfit like mine, but instead of a blue flannel it was a red one. She also was wearing a black tank top underneath and the flannel was loose fitting and unbuttoned. When I reached her eyes, I could see her smirking and biting her lip gently.

 

“You do realize that my eyes are up here, right cutie?” Carmilla said with that same smirk on her face.

 

I blushed and instantly looked away with a shy smile. “Um…you look uh…you look amazing Carm.”

 

She grinned and then removed her hand from behind her back. In it was a single red rose. “I uh…I got this for you. I really hope you like it.”

 

I smiled and took the rose and smelled it instantly. “Aw Carm! Thank you so much, I love it! Here, why don’t I go put this in some water and then we can head out?”

 

She smiled and walked into the house with me. I quickly found a vase and put the flower in it and put water in as well. Before we knew it, we were headed out for our date.

 

“So, can I know where we are going?” I asked curiously. I soon felt a hand being slid into mine, which instantly gave me butterflies.

 

“Now why would I ruin the surprise? You should know I like to keep an air of mystery Cupcake.” Carm said with a grin.

 

I rolled my eyes and just decided to let it go. If there is one thing you need to know about Carmilla is that she loves to keep things a secret until the absolute second. It’s always been like that.

 

Carmilla has been driving for the past thirty minutes and I still have no idea where we are going for our date. By the looks of it, it seems like we are headed out of town.

 

“If I knew any better, I would think you were taking me out to the woods to kill me.” I said jokingly.

 

She looked over at me and tried to give me her best intimidating look. “And what makes you think that’s not my plan?”

 

I grinned at her and said, “Because you would miss me too much. And Danny would probably kill you.”

 

She just rolled her eyes at me and continued driving while saying, “Pssh that Ginger Giant doesn’t scare me one bit. I’m pretty sure I’ve taken on scarier people than her, like Mother for instance.”

 

“Speaking of…has she tried contacting you or anything?” I asked curiously.

 

I felt her squeeze my hand gently before saying, “If you’re worried about her finding out that I’m talking to you then your answer is no. She doesn’t even know that I moved back here.”

 

I felt myself let out a relieved breath of air. The drive continued for another twenty minutes and then I saw Carmilla pull into a national park of some sort. Once she parked in a spot, she turned off her vehicle and looked at me with a smile.

 

“So, I packed a small picnic for us to take, but I thought it would be kind of cute to sit out underneath the stars and just catch up and eat. I even have my guitar if you would like to have some entertainment and dinner.” Carmilla said with a smile.

 

I smiled and was about to get out of the car when Carmilla quickly got out and went to my side and opened it for me. “Sorry, I actually want to be a gentleman tonight.”

 

I blushed and smiled and got out while saying, “Well, thank you Carm. Do you need any help with the food or anything?”

 

She shook her head no and said, “No I got it. All I need is for you to not trip on the way to our spot.”

 

I smiled and watched as she grabbed the basket full of food, a blanket, and her guitar from the trunk. We walked for quite a ways until we got to a huge open meadow-like field and stopped. She then placed the blanket down on the ground and spread it out so we could both sit on it. After setting up the food and placing the guitar on the blanket as well, she offered for me to sit down and then sat down after me.

 

“So, I didn’t want to make the food too fancy so I just packed us a few sandwiches and grape sodas, I hope you don’t mind. Oh! And I also packed your favorite: chocolate chip cookies.” Carmilla said as she handed me a sandwich and a grape soda.

 

I smiled and took a bite out of it and said, “Mm this is so good Carm! You know I love simple things like this.”

 

She smiled and we continued to eat our meals. We spent the evening talking about random things that have happened in our lives and reminiscing the times in college.

 

“Do you remember the time you, LaFontaine, Perry, and I went to that karaoke bar?” I asked, smiling at the memory.

 

She thought about it and then smiled. “Yeah! And LaF thought it would be a good idea to get up and sing a song to Perry. It was the cutest thing, even if they were drunk out of their mind and couldn’t sing.”

 

I laughed at that and said, “And then you decided to show them up by singing Ed Sheeran’s Kiss Me and sang to me the whole time.” Carmilla blushed at that which just made me smile even more. “Don’t worry Carm, I still find it extremely romantic that you did that.”

 

She continued to blush and I could see she had an idea in her head. “Well, I know how to play it on guitar if you would like for me to sing it for you? Or are you going to leave me here because you cried again?” She said teasingly.

 

I blushed and said, “I’m still really sorry for doing that. It probably wasn’t the best idea for me to run off crying like that, but you know how emotional I can get.”

 

Carmilla smiled and scooted closer to me so she could pull me into her arms. “Well, I still lo…I mean…I still like you for that so it’s okay. Now, do you want me to play a song for you or what?”

 

I grinned and nodded my head yes excitedly. Little personal concerts from Carmilla are seriously the best. I could probably fall asleep listening to her sing. She smiled and grabbed her guitar and tuned it correctly. Soon, the soft melody to Kiss Me started coming out of the guitar. She then looked over at me, smiled, then started singing.

 

_“_ _Settle down with me_  
Cover me up  
Cuddle me in  
Lie down with me  
And hold me in your arms

_And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck_  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_Settle down with me_

_And I’ll be your safety_

_You’ll be my lady_

_I was made to keep your body warm_

_But I’m cold as the wind blows_

_So hold me in your arms_

_My heart’s against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck_

_I’m falling for your eyes, but they don’t know me yet_

_And with this feeling I’ll forget, I’m in love now_

_Kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_Falling in love”_

 

Carmilla continues to play a little bit of the tune, all the while keeping constant eye contact with me. Something about her playing me this song after so many years has more of an effect on me, and thankfully a good one this time. My stomach is filled with constant butterflies and I just want to call her mine again. Carm finishes her little mini solo and continues singing, this time with a little more emotion in it.

 

_“Yeah I’ve been feeling everything_

_From hate to love from love to lust from lust to truth_

_I guess that’s how I know you_

_So hold you close to help you give it up_

_So kiss me like you wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_You wanna be loved_

_This feels like falling in love_

_Falling in love_

_Falling in love”_

 

Carm finishes the song and gradually fades out the guitar until she finally has stopped playing. I feel myself biting my lip softly and trying incredibly hard to not kiss her right then and there. She must have felt the same way as well because next thing I know, she’s pulling me into her arms and holding me close. I pulled away enough to be able to look at her and I slowly leaned in. Our lips were grazing one another until she pulled away and kissed me softly on the cheek.

 

“As much as I would love to kiss you right now, I kind of want to do this the old fashioned way.” Carmilla said softly, rubbing her thumb against my cheek gently.

 

I looked at her confused and said, “What do you mean the old fashioned way?”

 

She just smiled and said, “I want to go on a few dates with you, get to know each other better, until we finally get close enough to where I can ask you to be my girlfriend and kiss you softly on the lips. I want to woo you Laura Hollis. My feelings for you are incredibly deep and I am incredibly lucky to have a second chance with you and I don’t want to mess it up.”

 

I blushed a bunch at that. _The_ Carmilla Karnstein wants to _woo_ me? If it was even more possible, I found myself falling more for her right then. I nodded my head and said, “Okay Carm, I’ll let you get to do that. But it better be the best “wooing” that a person has ever done.”

 

She smiled and kissed my cheek softly. “Only the best for you Cutie. Now, it’s getting pretty late so let’s pack up all of this stuff and get you home.”


End file.
